Eclectic Eccentricities Etc.

Moving Day

2009-11-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

I've decided to move my blog to WordPress simply because it seems easier for me to use and I like the ability to layer pages and other geeky stuff.

http://eclecticeccentricitiesetc.wordpress.com/

Lots of roundy letters in that, huh?

This Christmas I Promise...

2009-11-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

1. To take nature walks and enjoy the Winter season.

2. To create something every day.

3. To affirm something positive and wait patiently for the world around me to acknowledge it.

4. To sing.

5. To let my friends know they are important to me all year long but I especially cherish them at the holidays.

6. Celebrate Christmas like a child.

7. Hide gifts for people that would have never expected them from me and not tell them who they came from.

8. Carry an extra child's coat and hat to give away when I see a mother with a child who may not have one.

9. Say "Merry Christmas" to people and really mean it.

10. Hug people often.

A taste of my busyness

2009-09-08T14:40:00.001-07:00

It's a Little Lamb sweater (pattern by Leisure Arts from the book Precious Layettes). The checkerboard variations are my own. The buttons are also checkerboard. You now, I'm not even fond of checkerboards. Hmmm...

More pics on the way. I've been very busy but taking most of my time is this damned sweater by Debbie Bliss called "Ribbed Sweater".

I've just decided that I hate knitting flat paneled items so I'm converting the majority of patterns I'm working on to working in the round.

Next item on the needles? A Wallaby Sweater. It's so cute! And fast! And easy!

Here's someone else's :

Toasty! I hope mine looks as nice as hers!!! http://lotzastitches.blogspot.com/2006/08/wonderful-wallaby.html

Dog Days of Summer

2009-08-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already the end of August and I haven't written anything all summer!

Well, maybe that's a good thing. We've been busy and enjoying the summer.

From Katy's Worship Dance Camp to the boys' sailing camp at ODU... it's been action packed.

So... what's new on the craft scene?

I've finished three sweaters and am working on a 4th. Two are to donate. The other two are for Connor. I've also crocheted a guinea pig. Too cute.

Anyway, I've knit a Little Lamb sweater (pattern by Leisure Arts Precious Layettes), a 5 hour baby sweater (which is SUCH a lie. It ALWAYS takes longer than 5 hours ), and a guernsey. The guernsey was my first experiment in changing sizes (since this was for a 3 year old and it only goes to 24 months). I also knit it in wool.

I'd post pictures but my camera cord has gone into hiding. As soon as it comes back, I'll post pictures of the knitting creations!

A Kinder, Gentler New York

2009-06-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Hats off to you, Mr. Bloomberg!

Five years ago I went to New York. It was a depressing and aggravating trip. Typical rudeness, filthy, bums everywhere, and to top it off, we got stuck in the middle of the Puerto Rican Day parade (you may remember this on the news where women were being sexually assaulted in the middle of the parade.)

Street preachers yelled at passersby as they openly smoked pot, "You better change your ways before you blaze that haze!" My children can still recite that one. Sigh.

This last weekend was completely different. We stayed in Long Island and took the subway into Manhattan. I was apprehensive. My last subway trip was less than comforting. Addicts standing up to ask for money. Although, I have to admit that the one man who stood up and said, "I'm not going to lie to you. I need money for a drink." got five bucks from me. I felt the same way after being on the subway for just 10 minutes.

This time, though, the subways were clean and devoid of panhandlers. A few stops had musicians playing for their supper. Saxophones playing soft jazz in the subway almost made it feel like a 1940 train ride. I looked around for Bogart.

The city was different too. Friendly New Yorkers saying hi and holding the door open for me. The kindness infected the subway system too where strangers were literally arguing over offering a seat to my children and me.

This infection seemed to carry into Central Park where street musicians asked my son and husband to play with them... and later, running into that same musician at the Staten Island Ferry terminal, the infection actually caused him to give us a free CD.

Things got really weird when the waiter at Carnegie Deli said he wasn't charging us for "sharing".

I started wondering if pod people had taken over. Even the taxi drivers were nice. SO nice in fact, that we DROVE in Manhattan.

With that said, I was glad to be home. New York, in all its splendor, is just too much input for me. Central Park was a needed refuge and I found myself mentally shutting down after being exposed to so much sound, lights, signs, smells (one thing that does need improvement, Mr. Bloomberg - the urine smell from the dogs and the homeless), and touches (people bumping into me.)

I needed the solace of home where I could control the input.

Even so, New York earned its title of "The City So Nice, They Named It Twice" this weekend.

We had a blast.

Spring Has Sprung

2009-04-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

LOOK! BEANS!!!

It's true what people say about me. I'm a Jill of All Trades but I'm master of quite a few. It's very rare that I don't succeed at something I set my mind to. That's not conceit. That's just how it happens for me. Positive thinking, timing, the Divine... all of them play a role.

Yes, I can conquer most tasks... most tasks, that is, except for gardening.

Where gardening is concerned, I am a total and complete failure. A black thumb. The aphid on the rose of life. Simply put, I suck at gardening.

This year will be different, though! I have my seedlings ready to go. Every seed I bought said, "Hard even for Shell to kill." so I bought them. Several said, "Even when people like Shell forget to water me, I will grow." I was sold!

I love to see people's gardens. I love to watch them sprout from seeds into hardy plants that can actually sustain people. How amazing is that? How God-Like is it to "create" life? I can't imagine how one couldn't feel close to their Creator while gardening.

It was an envy I experienced for years. My neighbor brings me tomatoes, squash, even pears all with that sympathetic, "I'm sorry you can't grow anything and how pitiful is it that when WWIII happens, you'll have to eat other people." look.

But not this year.LOOK! CUKES and PEAS!!!

This year the children are involved! I can't fail if I have a TEAM, right? Right? RIGHT?

We started with newspaper planters that I found on Instructables

This was so easy that all the children helped out - even Connor who found great delight in filling the pots with dirt.

My hostas and wisteria - the only two things I can grow because I don't
have to do anything. :o)

Create Your Path

2009-04-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Things at my "normal job" are slow. Very slow. Policy changes are making it difficult to earn a living. My once filled classes are down to nothing and nothing equates to no pay.

So what do you do when life hands you lemons? Well, since I love lemons, I'm more likely than not to make a lemon cheesecake or lemon meringue pie.

When I'm full, I create my own path.

And so I did. I called a local establishment and asked them about teaching a class in flower making (out of icing) there. I was approached about this idea a couple of years ago but now it was time to revisit this idea. I was met with enthusiasm and excitement.

I was in shock.

Instead of naysaying my idea in my mind before I even called or filling myself with doubt, I just *did* it.

My challenge to all of you today is don't think about what you want. Just get it. Don't hesitate or overthink the situation. Don't play out scenarios in your mind of what will happen when "they say no" or "they can't help me". Instead, talk as if it's already yours.... it's already done.

I never thought it would actually work but hey, we're having lemonade for lunch.

Every Story Under the Sun

2009-03-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

I have to make a full disclosure here - my family includes law enforcement.

With that said, I need to express my feelings about the Moat's incident.

I honestly cannot fault the officer and for the life of me, cannot understand why society at large is out for this officer's blood.

Let's really take this to the root of the issue. An NFL (National Felon's League) player was demanding preferential treatment for breaking the law.

Here's the fortunate thing - no one was killed when he ran a red light. No one in Moat's car - no innocent bystander because of his reckless and illegal behavior.

He deserved to be pulled over and cited just like anyone else that breaks the law.

Let's face it, people run red lights all of the time. I see the aftermath every day from someone's accident because their "life" was so much more important than someone else's. These offenders are often armed with a quiver full of excuses. "My wife's in labor." "I didn't have time to stop." and the ever popular "I have diarrhea." People lie ALL OF THE TIME to get out of tickets. It's just what our society does. I'm sure this officer has heard every excuse in the book and then some. Is it any wonder then, because we are a less than honest society, that he doubted the story?

A competent officer (and I believe this officer to be) investigates a story and moreover, investigates the person he has detained - that includes a warrant check and VIN check. If this innocent traffic stop had yielded a child molester just because he ran a red light, we'd have been singing this officer's praises! Many violent offenders, drug lords, etc. are caught on simple traffic violations. That's a fact, people.

I also find the hospital to be partially at fault in all of this. Encouraging a "speedy" trip to the hospital for final good-byes isn't the brightest move to make... unless they're hoping for more business.

While I sympathize with and offer my condolences to the family, it doesn't make what Moat's did any less illegal and potentially DEADLY.

Officer Powell should rest assured that many people support him and his decisions to follow protocol. He had no way of knowing if the situation was made-up or potentially volatile. I am sickened that he was made to apologize but I admire him for doing so.

The media has repeatedly found a way to vilify police officers who risk their lives to protect complete strangers every day.

This is one citizen who is sick of it. I challenge any of you who are critical of the police force to join and change it - of course, that would mean you'd be willing to take a bullet for me and every other stranger on the street.

It's easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle though.

... yeah, I didn't think you'd go for it either.

Let them eat cake!

2009-03-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Lydia Netzer, writer extraordinaire, there's an article about my cake classes on Hamptonroads.com.

Lydia is doing cover stories about working homeschooling mothers (and fathers) and how they manage to work and homeschool at the same time.

I have to say, I love teaching my cake decorating classes at Michael's. It's the "Mommy Time" I need most nights and my students and I always seem to bond immediately.

At the risk of shamelessly plugging myself... if you've always wanted to learn to how to decorate cakes, it's so much fun and it's so easy. Those of you that know me personally, know that I love to make people laugh and this class is no exception.

While I always tease about starting the first night of class with icing all over my face just to see what the new students say, rest assured that we have fun in a professional and educational setting. We just giggle a lot while we do it.

In this economy, learning this one little skill is invaluable. You'll never pay $35 or $40 (and up) for a sheet cake again. And almost all of my students go on to make cakes for other people so it's a great side income!

What's more, it's so easy a child could do it which is a good thing because I teach classes for children too!

At any rate, it's a nice night out and chocolate... what more could you want!

To everything, there is a season...

2009-03-07T10:50:00.000-08:00

When I was very little, my mother and her father had a falling out. I never really knew my grandfather because of that. A few years ago, my mother and her father reconciled and the family was technically united but the strain of not being part of his life for almost 20 years took a toll on how the relationship should have been.

Granddad is a wonderful man. Very funny. Very handsome. His looks are similar to Lorne Green... so much so that his boat was named "The Ponderosa". Master of the martini, tells a joke with a twinkle in his eye. An all around good guy.

Two years ago he and my step-grandmother (affectionately known as "Granny Good Witch") moved to West Palm, Florida.

Try as I might, I just don't feel the familial connection with them that I should. It doesn't mean I don't love or care about them. It's just that without the routine of talking to them, we never really reconnected.

A few nights ago, my mother told me that my step-grandmother let her know that my grandfather (all 6' 3" of him) was now bedridden with Alzheimer's that was progressively getting worse. His mother had the same thing.

It is not lost on me that this is hereditary and that I should be doing things NOW to prevent being part of that chain. I already forbid drinks in cans (aluminum has been shown to cause Alzheimer's.) I do word puzzles and keep my mind active to help keep it stimulated. Still, it's in the back of my mind how cruel this disease is.

Today, my mother told me that his family said they'd be surprised if he lasted 24 hours. Such a quick strike.

I'm most concerned about my mother and what role guilt may play in his death for that long absence they shared.

When I asked about a funeral, my mother told me that he was donating his body to science. I was surprised because I have made arrangements for this for myself.

Hopefully, he can shed some light on this terrible disease.

I wonder if my Nana will be in Heaven waiting for him... complaining about that "damned boat."

SNOW!

2009-03-02T11:27:00.000-08:00

I taught my son how to take pictures of snowflakes today.

Wanna' know how?

Actually, it's much easier than you think.

First, you'll need a dark fabric. Black works the best but any dark color will do.

Next, put it in the freezer for about 30 minutes. If you start with cold fabric, it makes it easier for the snowflakes to land and not melt right away.

Even if you don't want to take pictures, this is a great way to study and admire them.

You'll need to be a good 3 feet from the snowflakes unless you have a macro lens.

Remember, use your zoom. From there, you can use a photo program like Adobe Photoshop to enlarge it.

These are some examples of what you get:

It looks like jewelry, doesn't it? Gorgeous! No wonder I love them so!

Socks, Unity, Retro Soda, and Recycled Greenhouses

2009-03-01T16:55:00.000-08:00

As you can tell by my title, I've got a touch of Shiny Object Syndrome this week.

Lots of things going on but we'll start with socks.

I like sock knitting. It's probably my favorite thing to knit but I have a confession to all the yarn snobs out there, I've only recently knitted with sock yarn. No, it's true. I've been using worsted weight because it's fast and I can whip them out in two days time.

Earlier this week, I decided to break out the size one needles (which are only slightly smaller in diameter than a toothpick for those of you that don't knit) and the sock yarn which is well, thin and went at it. I started easy, though. Toddler socks.

I love making things for Connor. He's just the most appreciative little boy in the world. If you tell him, "I like your socks!" He says, "Meshu! Mommy made it!" (Meshu is toddlerese for "Thank you.")

Socks... yes... where was I? Two pairs of socks for Connor out of the way.

Next on the needles? I need to finish these tweed socks for Alan. They've been a UFO in my bag for over a year. Worsted weight, though. It should be easy.

That brings me to my newest knitting buddy - Kerri. Kerri's son and my son play in our church band. It's a groovy band. Her son (13, I think) plays AWESOME (like a hot dog) drums! This kid ROCKS! It's fair to say he KICKS ASS on the drums. Beside him on lead guitar is my son, Jake. It's been funny to hear parents tell me, "Wow, if I was a 13 year old girl." My son's a heart throb? Seriously? Him and the drummer may want to think about this band thing. :o) Enter, the girl singers. AMAZING vocals. 11, 15, and 19. BEAUTIFUL girls. Pretty is as pretty does. Wonderful family! Then there's Alan (yes, hubby) on bass. He's reliving his teenagehood. :0D On piano - John... another grown up and next to John on acoustic guitar? That's Canda. She's a joy to listen to and watch. You can just see that the music moves her.

Kerri has no guilt in knitting in church. I, on the other hand, am still trying to shed my great-grandmother's adage, "For every stitch you do on Sunday, you take out 9 in HELL!" Really, that lost it's scariness to me years ago. I'm queen of frogging it.

So... Unity Church. Wonderful place - concentrates on the positive message of Christ. I really like it there. "The Band" plays upbeat Christian music but a lot of pop music that's appropriate to the message. Today was "Love Train". Yes, the funky 1970 song featured on many an episode of Soul Train. I felt it my duty to buy fuzzy hats for everyone to wear and wild sunglasses. I mean, if you're gonna' funk, you gotta' funk it up big.

The choir (that sings more traditional songs ) was in full form today too from what I hear.

Unfortunately, I wasn't there to see it today. Connor had a 102 temp and was throwing up. That brings me to Coke. (See how it all relates? No red car here, my friends!)

Coke is something that's a Southern staple when you're sick. "You need some coCOla?" Something about the syrup being settling to the stomach. Now remember, we don't do HFCS so it's not something I'm happy about when it's the only thing to settle one's stomach. Never fear, though. If my thoughts are correct that the government is indeed monitoring my activity (that's a joke... I think... ) Pepsi got wind of my anti-HFCS stance and now has "Pepsi Throwback" - a soda with pure cane sugar instead of HFCS! YAY! Hopefully, it's not so sickening sweet.

Sweet... peas... peas... beans... beans... garden and now we're up to recycled greenhouses! This is how my mind works, people... you gotta' keep up!

Mother Earth News' newsletter came to my e-mail box today and in it an idea for turning plastic containers (that hold things like fruit or salads from salad bars) into little greenhouses! How cool! Not having one, I realized I had two rotisserie chickens in plastic containers that would be PERFECT for starting some lettuce. Yay!

Tomorrow, we'll be making newspaper planters for beans and little beds for lettuce. I've gotta' do SOMETHING to get out of this Winter funk. 35 and sleet right now, my friends. 65 on Friday. It's more than my brain can take.

If I don't start seeing some new growth soon, I'm going to go crazy. Not that I have far to travel. :o)

I'll post pictures of our progress - rest assured.

K-Mart/Sears Rent A Cop Disaster

2009-02-14T19:17:00.001-08:00

Where to start?

Valentine's Day and my thoughts were of the great sushi dinner my husband was making, the brownies we'd be gobbling later, the chocolate bliss...

Not so fast.

I needed to grab something from the store so I went up to K-Mart (which also has a grocery store in it) on Military Highway in Norfolk, VA.

To start, this K-Mart is always a hassle. Long lines because out of 16 registers, usually only 3 are in service. It is not an exaggeration to say that you cannot just get a jug of milk and get out of there in less than 25 minutes. Tonight was no exception. Tayeda (the cashier) was on a personal phone call about where to find something in the house (next to the door to the laundry room we finally realized). She puts the caller on hold only long enough to bark the amount due and go back to her phone call.

No worries. I have sushi at home! Chocolate, even! No amount of teen angst is going to keep my from my nice dinner.

My eldest son, Jake, and I cheerfully discuss chocolate and its benefits. We discuss Joseph Schmidt truffles. We leave the store.

Normally, this is a feat in itself. Apparently K-Mart/Sears hasn't gotten the memo that most thefts are done by the employees. Actually, the MAJORITY are. Leaving K-Mart requires your receipt and the K-Mart employee on duty to check out your groceries and compare it to the list. I've often wanted to buy $300 worth of condoms with a few bottles of Boone's Farm thrown in just to see the reaction. The humiliation this causes as they prove I'm not a thief is more than my Libertarian stomach can handle.

But I digress.

Cheerfully, Jake and I walk to the car. Hop in. Start the car... nothing but clicks. UGH! This has been going on for a few weeks now - off and on. First we were told it was the battery. That checked out. Then, it was "the cold." I'm guessing starter solenoid but I'm just a girl. What do *I* know? (she asks sarcastically)

Valentine's Day is now starting to upset me greatly.

I try the ignition a few more times. Lights. Radio. Everything is working - but the starter.

click click click click click click click - like a machine gun with a silencer.

I lift the hood because we've all been taught that's the sign for, "My car won't start and I need someone with sense and compassion to help me out."

I'm not amused. People walk by. I can hear a few of them say things like, "Damn, her car won't start." It's all I can do not to yell out the window, "Really? Ya' THINK?" Because about 40 people walk by and no one offers to help.

Click click click a few more times. It starts to turn over but then reverts to that clicking noise again.

At this point, I tell Jake, "Don't worry. The security guard will drive by and see us and help." Jake wants to eat too.

Well, I'm half right. The security guard drives by not once... but THREE times but he doesn't stop.

Okay, hood's up. He doesn't even stop.

Thankfully, a good Samaritan does. We can't get it started. I thank him and give him a box of Girl Scout cookies (that I have now bought for him) for being the only person to stop and help.

But wait! The security guard is just a few yards away! He has to see what's going on. The Good Samaritan is in the middle of the road. That has to at least have gotten his attention.

Nope. The Samaritan makes sure I have someone on the way before he'll leave. I assure him AAA is on the way (and they were but it's Valentine's Day and the wait is at one hour.) I thank him again and wish him good night.

I try a few more times to see if it miraculously wants to start because of the Divine Power of the Goddess Venus and her influence over this day... nope. Screw her.

By now I'm angry. I turn to Jake and shake my head.

Then, the fact that we're in the 21st century hits me. I have a video camera!

At this point, the security guard has parked right across from me. I'm sure he's now going to get out and help but as you'll see in the video, he doesn't.

I sit in the car with my son with no heat for almost 45 minutes. Shift change with the security guards and the new security guard gets ready to get into the parked car and looks over at me. I'm so jaded at this point, I'm sure he won't come over to me. I start wondering if maybe they're not ALLOWED to help people like this. Maybe their only job is to keep people out of the fire lane.

But just then, Mr. Davis (the new security guard on duty) comes over to me and asks, "Are you alright Ma'am? Do you need any help?" Faith in humanity restored.

I tell Mr. Davis about his predecessor's lack of compassion and my shock that he drove by me 3 times AND looked at me as he could hear me try to start the car but not be able to and then WALK AWAY.

Mr. Davis remained professional. (God Bless him!) He apologized for my troubles, laughed at my sarcastic comments in a good-humored way, and got his own car to help jump mine. (I know many companies won't let the security guards use the "company car" to do this.) As we worked together, I noticed he was missing part of his right arm. A further look at his car showed me he was also a military man. Iraqi War wound? Is he doing this piddly job because Uncle Sam isn't paying him enough to stay alive? I am so thankful for this man on so many levels that I lose focus on what I'm supposed to be doing.

Mr. Davis managed to get my car started. In my not so humble opinion, this man should be recognized for picking up the slack of his co-worker who couldn't bother to see if I was okay or whether or not I needed assistance.

Mr. Davis gets a box of Samoas and my never-ending thanks for being polite, helpful, cheerful... maybe he was a Boy Scout too.

I've never spent $3.50 more enthusiastically in my life.

And K-Mart/Sears and Securitas?

Here's the license plate number and car number of the officers on duty tonight.

I don't know the name of the first work-a-brickle (lazy good-for-nothing) but Mr. Davis should be in management. You're missing out on having a good man in a place where he's appreciated and acknowledged.

Mr. Davis? Tonight, you're my special Valentine.

Pull up a pile

2009-02-04T10:05:00.001-08:00

An online friend asked me yesterday "How do you keep your house immaculate" and while I haven't answered her personally yet, the thought made me chuckle as I looked at the piles of books all over my room... and the bins of yarn.

You see, I have 4 children.

I also have a 3 bedroom house.

Because we have 6 people in one house, this house is hardly ever immaculate.

I often think about my mother that I've often joked is Martha Stewart on crack. You can eat off the dust in my mother's house - but first, I dare you to find any. She lectures me about the "clutter" and "shit" everywhere but there are some important differences in my childhood and the childhood of my children.

First, I homeschool 4 children. Actually, it's even more basic than that. I *HAVE* four children.
My mother had two and we went to school so we were gone for 8 hours a day NOT making messes in the house.

I have 3 boys... who, God love them are walking tornadoes.
My mother had two girls. Girls are eager to please (at least in the pre-teen years )

I had one grandparent who bought me things or made me clothes. Just one. (Not that I didn't have more grandparents but this is the relationship I had with them.)
My children have my parents who spoil them lovingly with EVERYTHING and my husband's mother who does the same.

Birthdays look like Christmas. Christmas looks like a toy drive for needy children. LOTS of them.

So if you ask me ideas for "cleaning", I will tell you the following:

Downsize the amount of clothing your children have. Do they really need two dressers full of clothing? Freecycle the clothing to those who need it. Sell it on Ebay for extra money.
Downsize the amount of toys you have. If they get two of one thing at Christmas (Hannukah or birthday), don't exchange it.... DONATE it. If they have so much stuff that they are getting duplicates, they have too much stuff.
Use the 6 month rule. If you haven't touched it in 6 months, throw it away, recycle it, freecycle it. This excludes holiday decorations.
Get rid of the paperwork by taking pictures of favorite drawings the children made. Scan documents (that don't have to be in hard copy) onto a disk. Scan pictures and put them on a disk.
SEND THEM OUTSIDE! If you're tired of your house looking like a wreck, make them move the mess outside! We hardly ever played inside when I was little. Therefore, we weren't INSIDE to make a mess.
Rotate the toys. Put out only a few at a time. Put the rest in storage bins (in the attic, in the shed, in the garage.)
Lose the sentimentality. Can you take a picture of something that you're holding onto just because it was your Aunt Gertrude's? If you want to honor Gerty, give it to someone who will use it.
Make THEM clean up. Seriously. There's no reason why your 7 year old can't vacuum, your 5 year old can't pick up dirty clothes, or your 3 year old not put toys away. If you think they're too young, let me ask you this: Aren't you too young to be a maid? Teach them responsibility. When they learn to pick up after themselves, they also learn empathy for making YOU have to do it. Have teenagers? They should be cooking by now. It's not slave labor. It's life lessons. No man wants a wife that can't cook. No woman wants a husband who can't plunge a toilet. Let me rephrase that. No woman wants a husband that can't cook. No husband wants a wife that can't plunge the toilet. Teach them to be self-reliant and that starts with taking care of themselves and their household. That's a GIFT!
Invest in "hidden" stowaways (baskets that can go under furniture/furniture with hidden storage bins). Once they are filled, THEN clean out the stuff.
Plan your menu ahead of time. Cook for a week on one day. Learn to love your crockpot/dutch oven. Teach your children to make salads, side dishes, desserts. Teach your teens to cook one night a week.
Keep busy with one task at a time. If they are finished playing with something, it gets put away before you are ALLOWED to take out something else. Also, keep busy with things that require more than 15 minutes to do. Idle hands are the devil's play thing - so to speak. And bored hands create one Hell of a mess.

The big lesson in all of this is learning to work together as a team. The Mom isn't the slave. The children aren't the slaves. The husband isn't the slave. You are all cogs in a household machine and if one of you isn't oiled and working properly, none of you function at 100%.

Weird treasures in my garage...

2009-01-30T11:08:00.001-08:00

I seem to collect eclectic things. My garage is a testimony to that. Today, while discussing sewing machines on a homeschooling list, I realized I might have one of the machines they were talking about.

I say, "might" because I'm never sure exactly what's in my garage (or attic for that matter). Sometimes things appear that I don't know from whence they came . Sometimes someone puts things in there. (Like my family members - not strangers on the steet... although sometimes I wonder.)

And sometimes I can't remember what I've freecycled or given away.

That, on top of the fact that I have 8 or 9 sewing machines... I can never answer the sewing machine tech correctly when he asks me the model. (It's the same with my four children when someone asks me what their birthdays are.)

Anyway, here's the machine I "rediscovered" in my garage. It comes in an attractive wooden carrying case, has gold filigree, and lots of little knick knacks that go with it.

If you click on the picture, you can see the detail in the enlarged version.

... somewhere in my garage I have a WWII container filled with Wheat/Weed pennies. Maybe one day I'll find it when I'm looking for a cake pan. :oD

Mercury Whip

2009-01-29T19:07:00.001-08:00

About 3 years ago, we gave up high fructose corn syrup. It was a Lent sacrifice. Now, before you roll your eyes, bear with me here.

You see, unlike the idiots in the corn industry sponsored high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) commercials, I really DO know the dangers of HFCS and so should you.

First of all, it contains mercury. You know, the stuff in vaccines that was outlawed? The stuff that USED to be in thermometers before they realized how dangerous it was?

As if that's not bad enough, there's really no health benefit in HFCS. It's genetically engineered. It's higher in sugar than just plain cane sugar. It is directly linked to increases in diabetes.

If you didn't know about HFCS either, you should. As a parent, you wouldn't feed your child rat poison (unless you're Casey Anthony) so why would you poison your children with mercury or genetically engineered sugary poison?

Now, that's not to say my children can't have sugar. Really, it's just the opposite. Pure cane sugar? The answer is almost always yes. Chocolate bars, cookies, cake. All good. (Well, good tasting anyway)

With all things, moderation is the key. The problem is, you shouldn't moderate poison... in any amount.

Soda would be the worst offender of HFCS. It's horrible for you anyway - especially for girls. It leeches calcium (osteoperosis anyone?) Most things are easy to figure out if they have HFCS. Any flavored drink pretty much has it. All soda. But there are some things that you wouldn't think of normally.

Here's a short list of "hidden" common products:

Ketchup

Miracle Whip

Pancake syrup

Salad Dressing

Chocolate Syrup

Tomato Paste

Tomato Sauce

Spaghetti Sauce

Baby food (Which I've never understood buying instead of making anyway. I mean, how hard is it to mash bananas or blend peas? Seriously, how lazy do you have to be?)

But there is good news. Organics don't have HFCS and more and more grocery store chains are offering affordable generic organics.

There's organic soda if you really can't do without, organic ketchup (which tastes better anyway and isn't so daggone watery), organic salad dressings (that taste like restaurant-made specialties).

Or why not make your own? It's cheaper. It tastes better. And you know exactly what's going in it.

Homemade Miracle Whip

SERVES 68 , 1/2 liter

2 egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice or vinegar
1 1/2 cups oil
1 1/2 tablespoons flour or cornstarch
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1/2 cup boiling water
2 tablespoons vinegar
salt

Using a blender or food processor, blend egg yolks, salt, paprika, garlic, sugar and 1 tablespoons of the lemon juice.
Slowly pour in 1 cup oil, a few drops at a time, mixing thoroughly.
Add remaining 1/2 cup oil a little faster, carefully blending in each bit before adding the remaining 2 tablespoons lemon juice.
Mix the flour, mustard, boiling water and vinegar together until smooth.
Pour into a small saucepan and cook until smooth and paste-like (but not too thick).
Slowly add this hot mixture to the mayonnaise and blend well.
Pour in a container and cool in the refrigerator.

I know you love me but....

2009-01-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, I want to sit with you and talk with you about something. You see, I love that you think of me. I really do. It makes me smile to see your name in my e-mail inbox. I get so excited! I think, "Oh cool! I wonder what she's/he's up to!?!?" and then, devastation...

a chain letter, a virus warning, an urban myth

I think to myself, well, the intention was good but you know that saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

So let me tell you a little about my day... really, a little about my life in the virtual world.

I run a charity. It is the world's largest and oldest online charity. It is not an exaggeration that I get HUNDREDS of e-mails from that a day as we all work together to try patterns, talk about needs, and work out how to help others. Important e-mails. Pertinent e-mails.

I homeschool. I have e-mails coming in from lists to help me do this. I have newsletters that come in that help me educate my children, let me know about upcoming events that will enrich all of us, newsletters that keep me aprised of local happenings and national laws. Very important. Very relevant.

I am a youth leader. Girl Scouts, 4-H, Book Clubs, Sunday School. E-mails fly in from and about these organizations so that I can make sure we're all on the same page. Timely e-mails. Necessary e-mails.

I work. My bosses in New York and Virginia rely on e-mails to get in touch with me, schedule, and relay information important in keeping me employed and paid.

That's just my virtual world and even then, only a small part of it.

In real life, I have four children, a husband, a job, a charity, and I work with children. I am always busy. Time spent in leisure is well planned for the optimum result.

Time with my friends is precious. Hearing from you is very important. But I want to hear from YOU.

That is why I plead with you - visit this site: Thanks, No

Once you've read that, I'd like to invite you to visit THIS site. I ask you to go there because you've OBVIOUSLY got a lot of time on your hands and you're itching to do something with it. Learn to knit. Make something for a homeless person who is freezing. Make a burial gown for a preemie that has died. Make a blanket for a veteran in a VA nursing home. Heck, I don't care if you make a willy warmer. But do something productive.

... and one more thing? Snopes is your best friend. Before you send me another story about people hiding under cars or peeing in Coke, check it out.

I love you too but...

So much creating - so much relishing

2009-01-18T16:18:00.000-08:00

So much going on that I've been overwhelmed in a great way.

The first month of the year has been a productive one.

With two birthdays in January (my daughter and eldest son), I go right from Christmas to birthdays. Truth be told, I'm never quite on top of having a birthday party one week after Christmas. I try every year but it just doesn't work out that way.

This year had a double whammy. Katy got sick on her birthday and this wasn't just any sickness. This was a debilitating stomach virus that went through the family not once but twice. Trash cans were everywhere - just in case.

Once the illness seemed to have run it's course (for the second time), windows were opened, the house was bleached and Lysoled and life slowly started back to normal.

With life back to normal, I proceeded to do 7,000 loads of laundry. While things washed and dried, I knitted. First on the needles - scout socks for my eldest son, Jake. Second, scout mittens.

So here's the deal. Scout socks in the scout store are cotton or nylon. Anyone that camps, hikes, or has any sense knows that cotton and nylon get wet easily and get cold. The camper/hiker is MISERABLE. The seasoned knitter knows that nothing is warmer than wool... or cooler. It sweats with you but maintains its temperature so even if you crash land in the middle of the Hudson (and was that a miracle or WHAT?!?!), your feet will be warm... or warmER anyway. This same principle applies to mittens.

And of course, since the majority of heat is lost from your head, he needs a scout hat too. That's almost done.

All three of these are birthday gifts. He knows about them. I had to get his feet measurements (which seem to increase weekly) and his hands. But he is grateful nonetheless.

Thankfully, my children are appreciative of handmade gifts.

Next on the creative list was a boppy. Caleb's rough-housing tore Connor's boppy so it was time for a new one. I was disappointed to find out that my pattern (since I made the original) was missing. I donated a lot of patterns so I can only surmise that it was in one of those lots. No worries. I took apart the old one and used it as a pattern.

Jake and Caleb came in to let me know that THEIR boppies are torn too and would I please, please, please make them new ones? These were actual name-brand Boppies. Again, no pattern so I took them apart and made a pattern from them.

It's funny that I have a teen and a tween who still love their Boppies.

From that... the patchwork skirt. I found a great online pattern maker that gives you the measurement to make a peasant skirt.

J Caroline Creative has a formulary that gives you each tier. Too cool!

I made a patchwork skirt for Katy who has decided she wants to be a Hippie. I'm so cool with that.

And then... there was the huge freeze! It doesn't usually get really frigid here but that last blast of Canadian air really did a number down here!

We took the opportunity to make ice sun catchers since it hardly ever reaches the freezing point.

We're anticipating snow on Monday night. We'll see. The weather guessers don't get a lot of weather forecasts correct. Let's hope they guessed right here.

Great Start to 2009!

2009-01-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

The first day of the year is proving to start the year off great!

Tree is down. I usually keep it up until Epiphany but I needed space. I was happy to have it out even though it was a beautiful tree. It is now on its way to be a dune protector for the Chesapeake Bay.

Unfortunately, there was an apartment fire nearby and 5 families lost their home but I was able to help one family provide for their baby. I had a bunch of 3-6 month clothing for a boy, diaper bag, blankets - all brand new. I was blessed by being able to help them. It makes me feel good to know he'll be toasty tonight and Mom will have a new diaper bag and other goodies for him.

Last but not least, I have gotten two cockatiels (well, I'm picking them up later this evening). I love birds. My cockatiel passed away before Christmas and it was devastating. As much as my mother complained when she called that she couldn't hear because of "that damned bird" singing, I miss the singing and chirping and his funny little antics.

Most people don't think of birds as having personalities. They think that to cuddle something, it needs to have fur. Now, my Irish Setter is a 95 pound lap dog that thinks he weighs 10. The cat lets us live here. But the birds are a delight. They are curious, social, sing to you, squawk when you've made them mad. They're adorable.

Cleaning the house has commenced to clean out the "old year" and prepare for the new. This has been very empowering as I get rid of "attachments" of things that really need to get out of my house. Dust gatherers. Hot spots of papers. Gone!

I'm looking forward to the New Year.

I hope you are too!

Happy 2009!

2008-12-31T11:51:00.000-08:00

Why doesn't THIS guy run for president?!?!

I hope you laughed as hard as I did!

Getting it out of my system

2008-12-31T08:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, many of you know that I am really tolerant of most behaviors. I may raise an eyebrow but my personal mentality is that if it

a) Doesn't cost me money
b) Doesn't inhibit my own abilities
c) Doesn't harm anyone

then I'm pretty cool with what other people do in their own lives.

For example...

I don't care who you sleep with as long as they are two consenting adults. I really consider it none of my business. I'm not keen on public displays of affection though, so keep your tongue in your own mouth when you're out and about.

I don't care what religion you are. Are you a good person? About 20 years ago, I coined the phrase, "I don't care if you worship monkeys on the top of the capitol building - can you help others?" 'Nuff said.

But there are some things that try as I might, I cannot get past the judgment. So, I've decided to get it out of my system right now so that my New Year is free from my complaining.

Here goes:

1) In the immortal words of a friend of mine, "It's a vagina - not a clown car." Really, people. We're not an endangered species. Those parents with 8 and up children aren't raising their own children - their CHILDREN are raising the other children. When your eldest is 18 and your youngest is 2 weeks and there are 16 in between, it's a stretch to say you're parenting. I really feel it unfair to the other children to deprive their childhood by making them parent. It's not fair to them. One can quote all the scripture they want but no 9 year old will tell you they'd rather change a diaper than play. Let them be children. If you can't take care of 12 at a time - with just you and your significant other and without burdening your other children to babysit/nanny for free - rethink that whole overpopulating the Earth thing.

2) Public schools are all inherently evil and based on turning children into compliant factory workers. It's true. It's documented. It's a government run institution. That in itself should tell you it's FUBAR.

3) Quit quizzing my homeschooled children or I will start quizzing YOU *AND* YOURS! They're homeschooled - not retarded. Quite the opposite, really. My eldest child's IQ is over 165. Do you really want to argue philosophy with him? Quantum Physics? And I have a question for you since you publicly educate your children. "What about socialization?" Aren't you worried they won't know how to act around others?

4) While we're at it, quit asking me to donate money to your child's physical education - or even worse, have the child ask me to donate money for new uniforms for basketball. Do what WE (homeschoolers) do and PAY for them! Sports aren't an entitlement. They are a dessert. And if your child DOES ask me for money for basketball, rest assured that I will ask them a math problem first. If they fail it - no money. They shouldn't be playing sports if they can't figure out what 7 x 8 is.

5) Quit assuming I'm a Republican because I homeschool or that I'm a Democrat because my views are less Calvinistic than yours. Educate yourself this year that there are more than two parties. One of them actually reveres the Constitition and doesn't want Big Brother breathing over my shoulder nor do they believe that government is the answer to all of our problems but rather it's the creator of all of the problems.

6) WTF? What's with the dismembered baby signs on Little Creek Road? I'm all for right to choose or right to abstain from abortion. Your call. But my children aren't allowed to play violent video games because I abhor the images. Imagine the horror of my children as their delicate psyches are exposed to your idiotic signs based on procedures that are ILLEGAL in the United States. Shock and Duh. Do you really think that those violent pictures are helping your cause? You're as neurotic as PETA if you think those images are making a difference. And while we're on the subject - If you're a man, put down the damned sign! And PETA? It's hard to take you seriously when your staff wears leather Birks and carries leather handbags to go with the leather belts holding up their pants. Oh, and quit going to movies. The film is coated in gelatin - an animal product. And quit using antibiotics. I'm here to advocate for the virii you're killing who have a right to live - MURDERERS! (See how silly this can get?) I am the Lorax, I speak for the bacterium.

7) McMansions... Let me throw out a scenario - "HEY! Let's cut down all the trees to plant a McMansion that looks just like the other houses next to it! (Hamlet coming home drunk from a party to a McMansion farm - 2A or 2B THAT is the question... because all of them look alike!) THEN!!!! Let's plant more trees!" What moron thought this up? Someone who uses $20 bills to wipe their butt, I suppose. It's costly, it's environmentally unsound, and it's stupid. I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

8) Control your pets! I am sick and tired of your cats spraying all around the neighborhood and my yard. The smell is atrocious. You should have to live in that smell as punishment.

LEASH YOUR DOG! Not everyone likes your pooch. It's not cute for them to shove their nose in my face totally unsolicited after they've licked their butt - or any other time for that matter. And clean up after your dog. "There's no such thing as the poop fairy." but apparently there is such a thing as a lazy callous jankrod.

9) TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE! For the love of God, people. I don't care how your colonoscopy went - especially when I'm trying to have a quiet dinner. I *will* answer your questions (intended for the other person on the phone) while you're talking. I *will* get my children to be REALLY loud so you can't hear your caller. If we're playing "Who can be the most obnoxious?" I'm really good at that game. Trust me. And seriously? If you're on the phone in a check out line, I *will* move in front of you. You're obviously not ready to check out if you're still on the phone. And cell phones in church? Are you serious? Are you expecting a call from God? My favorite pastor answered someone's phone in church by saying, "I'm sorry, Susie can't come to the phone right now. She's in church. Why aren't you?" Guffaws of laughter ensued to be sure.

Unless you're on an organ transplant list, nothing is that flipping important. Remember 10 years ago when no one HAD cell phones? You know what we did when we needed to be in touch with our children? WE PARENTED!!! We made sure they were around another responsible adult who had a land line. Cell phones are no more a babysitter/nanny than your 9 year old is.

10) Control your children! It's not a phase. It's not cute. It's irritating to those of us who have children who are well mannered and well behaved. I don't even have to spank mine. They understand the rules and they are expected to act HUMAN. Feed your children before you go shopping. Bring a drink for them. And for the love of God, don't buy them something when they act like animals. Whining and tantrums does not earn you a reward if you STOP. You are EXPECTED to be good. No bribe to make sure you are. What is up with THAT? Quit wussying out on parenting. And while I'm on the subject, if your child is screaming - TAKE THEM OUT OF THE STORE, RESTAURANT, SANCTUARY! We know YOU don't want to listen to it and you love them. Don't think that strangers that have no emotional investment in your child want to hear that EITHER. It's not a lack of compassion on the part of the strangers - it's lack of courtesy on the part of the PARENT!

I think that's it. I'll leave world hunger and poverty to the experts.

I am the Lorax, I speak for the impositioned.

What NOT to do...

2008-12-30T08:20:00.000-08:00

Well, December was a great lesson in the best laid plans of mice and men.

Promising a daily posting when your father has surgery scheduled, your mother comes down with pneumonia, and other life things are there at Christmas time (like work, schooling, and mothering) was just... well, it was stupid.

Now, the Christmas tree skirt DID get finished and it was lovely. I sat on the waiting room floor of the surgery center waiting for news of how my father did and worked on the skirt. When the skirt bored me, I switched to knitting and actually taught a couple of nurses some knitting tips.

My mother thought this hilarious and was dubbing the small waiting room the "Craft Class 101". *I* tried to talk the nurses into leaving baskets of yarn and knitting needles and crochet hooks instead of pop-culture magazines like "Teen Beat" or magazines about Golf. (Are you kidding me? It's the only thing I can think of that's MORE boring than WATCHING golf - READING about it.)

Truth be told, I'm glad December is almost over. Whew. What a harried disarray of experiences.

OH! And one more thing. My scanner broke so I wasn't able to upload templates. Through 3 million updates, jury rigs, and finger crossings, it's finally working.

In fairness though, December isn't the end of the year's hectic schedule but rather the beginning. A week and a half after Christmas is my daughter's birthday. Two weeks after that is my eldest son's. Two weeks after that is Valentine's. Then three weeks until my sister and father's birthdays. Then Easter. April brings my grandfather's birthday. May - Mother's Day. June - Father's Day.

Really, my year is divvied up by spending money on birthdays or other family holidays. I said before that I don't have the type of family that appreciates hand made gifts. Christmas cost us a good grand. But you know, home made doesn't mean cheap either. Every year I watch as people spend hundreds of dollars on "supplies" to make things for Christmas when really, it'd be cheaper to buy it. Of course, the home made isn't there anymore but anyone deluding themselves into thinking that they're saving money on Christmas by making things needs a reality check.

I made over a dozen dozen of cookies this year. Some as gifts. The grocery bill for cookies was over $100. Case in point.

I decided this year that next Christmas will be spent away. In the mountains, in another state, something. I need to get away from the hectic pace of Christmas and take it back to basics.

Perhaps the Universe was telling me to slow down. Nah, I didn't think so either.

I'm a big fan of the "Law of Attraction" and am actively working on bringing positive things to our lives (my family's) this year. I would be remiss if I didn't also try to attract some serenity. LOTS of serenity.

Joy to the World

2008-12-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

My eldest child, Jake, was asked to play with a church band on the 14th of December. Knowing he'd be in physical pain if I said no because of his love of playing guitar, I gave permission. He will be playing to a very upbeat almost gospel version of "Joy to the World."

It got me thinking about the joy I have in my life for things.

I didn't write any "What I'm Thankful For" on Thanksgiving because truthfully, I'm thankful for everything - good or bad. The bad teaches me. The good nourishes my soul.

What I want to do instead is write what brings me Joy.

My Joy List:

Listening to the girls laugh and guffaw and Mom's Night Out gives me so much joy. I love that we get to go out and be "people" for a while instead of "wife" or "mom". Watching the other ladies come out of their Mommy shells and be saucy and lively and even tearful is amazing.

Knowing that my children sing and dance, draw and write, design and dream brings me to a point of elation I never knew possible. These little beings that I created growing into their own identies and filling their lives and mine with their music and talent is one of my biggest joys.

The thought that no matter how often I turn my back on God because I'm angry or hurt and that He/She is always there when I need Him/Her is a joy unto itself. I often joke that I am God's problem child and I had a particularly huge serving of joy when the realization of not having to carry life's burdens alone finally sunk in. I was often envious of people who could just say "Let go and let God" because I thought, "Okay, that's all fine and good but I have things to do and if I don't do them who will?" Through a stroke of luck/misfortune I was unable to do my normal routine and Grace (and I do believe it was) made sure that we were taken care of when I just didn't have the strength (emotionally or physically) to go on.

A bigger joy was when my husband reiterated that to me. "Honey, you know that God always takes care of us." We don't talk about faith except to debate (in a healthy way) religion and our beliefs. This was the first time faith was used by him to encourage and console me.

I am joyful that I am finding the happiness that I crave all around me. I have cast off old relationships that I tried to force to fit. I have surrounded myself with freer minds and souls. I have found a community of artists that inspire me. (Special hats off to Deva and Lydia here.) At 40, I am finally becoming comfortable with who I am instead of who people want me to be. And the more I accept that, the more Gifts I am given in my relationships and my life.

I am joyful that I'm not 20. Really, I am. 20 was busy and harried and erratic. 40 is comfortable and contemplative. It is reflective and inspirational. It taught me about the world outlook instead of the *me* outlook.

I am joyful that I was not married to any of my ex boyfriends - even though many asked. I could have said yes to money, travel, fame. Instead, I said yes to love and my heart. When I run across exes on Facebook or even in real life, I breathe a sigh of relief. I was being looked out for even then and didn't realize it.

My biggest source of joy is my children and I know that sounds cheesey but they are so funny and so talented. I couldn't imagine sending them away to school and letting someone else throw away the joy of being with them when they discover something new. I can't understand looking forward to sending them away or "getting them out of the house."

I chose to have them and be with them and they have brought me joy.

Today, find your joy and choose to embrace it.

Days 2 - 5 The Tree Skirt

2008-12-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

This one is particularly close to my heart.

About 20 years ago, my grandmother (Nana) made a Christmas tree skirt for me. It's vintage and adorable. I don't usually do "cutesy" but this is cute and I love it.

Unfortunately, felt doesn't usually last through 20 years and attempts at spot cleaning it only proved disappointing and ineffective.

Still, I couldn't part with it. Most of it is sentimentality. I love that it's something she made for me. I cherish it for that.

My only recourse was to remake it - exactly like she did. Now at first, I wasn't too keen on this because it removed HER work on it. It took away what SHE did but last night, I felt at peace with this decision for the first time because my mind opened to the possibility of sharing her work with others. Suddenly, remaking her skirt was a testimony to my devotion to her craft work. It was a partnership in sharing the love of art with others - even if it's "cutesy"

With that decided, I took apart the appliques on the skirt to reproduce them. I traced each layer and made templates to share with all of you.

I don't expect an onslaught of people making this skirt but knowing that I'm keeping a part of her alive by sharing her work with others is enough for me.

With your help, this will be done!

So, without further delay, here are the materials needed:

One sheet of felt in each of the following colors:

Yellow
Black
Red (try for a different shade than the skirt if using red for the skirt)
Light Blue
Flesh (caucasion, african american, latino, asian - you decide)
Tan
Dark Brown

TWO sheets of felt in these colors:

Dark Green
White

You will also need:

One sheet of gold metallic paper (sold with the posterboard)
One package of assorted sequin shapes
One package of assorted colored sequins
Wiggly Eyes in assorted sizes
2 small white pompons
Fabric Tac glue
Gold rick-rack or brocade
2 yards of 72 inch felt in color of your choice for the skirt. (My original skirt was white but I opted for red for the remake.)
Ribbon for bow on reindeer
Small jingle bells (about 6)
Brown thread
Sewing needle
Embroidery scissors (because they are small and easily manipulated)

Below are the pictures of the skirt appliques. I have put both "before" and "after" pictures on here so you can appreciate the need for redoing it. You'll also notice that I added little extras where I was so inspired (maybe by Nana). I wanted you to see what you could do and that there are many possibilities of decorating these.

Click on the hyperlinked pictures below (available tomorrow which will give you time to shop for supplies) to get the templates for these. I traced mine on cardstock for durability in cutting. If you don't have that, regular paper will do just fine but be gentle with it.

Santa - Before and After

Snowman - Before and After

Trees - Before and After

Reindeer - Now, this is only an "After" because the "Before" reindeer actually fell off of the skirt while it was hanging on the clothes line and I have no idea where it went. We have searched and searched but my guess is that some little squirrel is using it for an area rug.

Wreaths - Before and After

Angels - Before and After

(The original "Before" did have wings but they faded and ripped)

Technical Difficulties

2008-12-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

It was my hope to have a different craft up here every day but we've had intermittent internet for the last few days so I am behind in posting.

Fear not! I still have the crafts for each day and I will post them as soon as the computer (confusor) cooperates.

On the first day of Christmas...

2008-12-01T18:22:00.000-08:00

Poinsettia barrettes

Our first day is a poinsettia barrette cute enough for a toddler to wear, fun enough for a tween to wear, and sparkly enough for an adult to wear.

This is easy enough for a child to do with adult supervision (especially where the glue gun is concerned) but the steps are very simple.

What you need:

Red Cardstock
Green Cardstock
Gold Metallic Marker
8 mm Gold Sequins
Quilt Clips
Hot Glue Gun and Glue
Alene's Clear Tacky Glue

There are two layers to the poinsettia. For the first layer, I used regular red cardstock but for the second layer (that goes on top), I used a transparent red paper.

Each layer takes 6 petals.

Cut six petals in a leaf shape. The size is up to you. Smaller petals make smaller flowers. Larger petals make larger flowers. (Yes, I know that the red "petals" on poinsettias are really leaves but bear with me here.)

The petals in the picture are about 1.5 inches.

No pattern is needed. Just cut them in natural leaf shapes.

Next, draw the veins on the petals.

Now you're going to glue the petals together using the Alene's clear tacky glue. I work in triangles which is to say, that I glue three together and then put three petals in between those petals.

Let dry.

Glue the second layer of petals together in the same fashion.

Let dry.

You can add green leaves if you'd like. I think it adds a little more dimension.

Once the layers are dry, stack them on top of each other and glue the layers together using the Alene's glue.

Glue green leaves to the bottom of the flower.

Let dry.

In the middle of the flower, glue 5 (or however many you wish) gold sequins. For a larger flower, use 8 mm sequins but if you're making a smaller flower, you may want to use smaller sequins or even gold seed beads.

When the flower is dry, hot glue it to the quilt clip.

There you have it!

The End... or is it?

2008-11-29T18:39:00.000-08:00

I am officially finished with Nanowrimo 2008.

It was the biggest piece of compost I've ever written filled with grammatical and spelling errors. Punctuation was a non-entity.

That's beside the point, however. It's supposed to be trash.

After Christmas, this rough draft will be transformed into something of a Western novel worthy of my father's approval.

I say that because my father taught me my love for Westerns and turned me onto Louis L'Amour.

When all is said and done and it is worthy of some great cover art, the dedication will reflect that - that he was the inspiration for my book.

So many ends left to tighten, though. So many plot twists that aren't exactly as exciting as they could be.

Important details pushed aside to get to the meat.

Then meat undercooked in the interest of a deadline.

Fun, exhausting, aggravating, challenging, and I'd do it all again next year.

I'd also like to thank my writing buddy, Lydia, who prodded me to write and in the last hours of nanowrimo when I had a nagging headache, a house full of loud and annoying children, Thanksgiving and Christmas plans that needed to be done but her ~~merciless nagging~~ supportive encouragement got me to write my butt off.

I'd also like to thank my mother for encouraging typing lessons. 165 wpm makes a great deal of difference.

Finally, I'd like to thank the academy, the makers of nanowrimo, and most of all God.

You like me. You really like me.

The Cold and a Writing Assignment Meme

2008-11-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I talked about hating the cold. Today I will talk about hating the fact that I now HAVE a cold.

Not really. I won't bore you. You've all had a cold. You all know how miserable it is. You don't need me to remind you.

So let's move on to the writing assignment, shall we?

If you have ever taken the time to write a comment on someone else's blog then you know that most of them ask you to type in a security word so that spammers, hackers, crackers and phishers don't break into your system.

This doesn't always work with a tomato. :o)

It dawned on me that these are the weirdest set of words I've ever seen. I started wondering if many of them were real or made up.

As I wrote on a friend's blog today, my word was "Ablakey" Not the weirdest one I've ever had but definitely odd. I searched online dictionaries to see if it were indeed a word and I couldn't find it listed.

It seemed a Meme was in order.

Here is your assignment should you choose to accept it.

First, click here:

Now, your assignment.

You will go to a random person's blog page (try clicking "next blog" at the top of your screen) and comment to them:

"You have been chosen for a mission. Get your assignment here: http://eclectic-eccentricities.blogspot.com/2008/11/cold-and-writing-assignment-meme.html"

When you go to publish the comment, it will give you your "safe word".

Remember your safe word.

Take your safe word and create a market for your new band.

Yes, that's right. Your safe word is now your band name.

You will create a press release for your new band describing your sound, sample lyrics of one of your songs, and the next 4 tour dates and venues.

Rock on, dude!

Brrr

2008-11-22T16:43:00.001-08:00

I hate the cold. I really do.

I'd rather it be 100 than 10.

So much so that this was actually the first marriage argument:

Alan: Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?

Me: What about Bermuda?

Alan: What about Ireland?

Me: What about Cazumel?

Alan: What about Ireland?

Me: What about Jamaica?

Alan: What about Ireland?

Me: What about The Bahamas?

Alan: What about Ireland?

Me: What about The Dominican Republic?

Alan: What about Ireland?

So um, guess where we ended up? Cold, rainy Ireland.

If I hear one more person tell me how they've always wanted to go to Ireland, I'm going to sock them. Really. Right in the throat.

Okay, here's the weather in Ireland -

Rainy and cold with a possibility of mist all day and night.

You know what people say to you when you go to Ireland? (After the initial "Are ye Catholic?") They ask you, "How are ye likin' Ireland - ceptin' fer the weather?"

BECAUSE IT'S COLD AND RAINY ALL THE TIME!

Why do you think it's so green? BECAUSE IT RAINS ALL OF THE TIME!

Why do you think they're so pale? Don't make me say it.

I tell ya', give me a half naked guy serving me a drink with a little umbrella in it and I'm a happy camper. Bonus points if there's a flamingo involved.

As I type this, it's 37 degrees (F) outside. Okay, that's not the moronically cold -14 that nonsensical Yankees live in or even those Big Sky people but it's cold for here. Add in the moisture from the ocean and it's downright frigid.

Did I mention I hate the cold?

Mister Heatmiser is my hero.

Sing along everyone! I'm mister 101.

Brrr!!!!

"T" anyone?

2008-11-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Prepare for a rant...

Rant? Maybe too strong a word.

Vent? Not sure that's strong enough.

Vant. There you go. Somewhere in the middle.

So... yeah.

T

Say it with me "tuh tuh tuh TEEE"

Everyone got it?

Top of the teeth. Tip of the tongue.

We're all on the same page, right?

Okay...

So tell me WHY don't people pronounce the "Ts" in:

Cotton
Button
Mitten
Kitten
Important

I could go on.

I was recently at an American Girl Luncheon/Fundraiser event and there were two girls picked to narrate the fashion show and luncheon. They were well dressed, pleasant enough, and when they started speaking it was pleasing to the ear until they got to the word "Cotton".

Cah - en

But it didn't end there because later one of the girls modeled a cute outfit with Mih - ens.

Heaven forbid they be cah-en mih-ens.

It's not that difficult of a word, cotton. Mitten is pretty easy too, or so I thought.

This led to a wonderful discussion afterward (you'll notice there's no "s" on the end of "afterward" nor are there on the ends of "forward" or "backward".)

My seven year old daughter thought the girls were hilarious. She thought they were intentionally misspeaking as a joke. She would say "cah-en" and just lose herself in laughter. "Mommy, where's my mih-en?" and guffaws would ensue.

I had to explain to her that this was how those girls speak naturally.

"Oh." and a slight frown of disgust filled her face.

"There are Ts in those words." she answered.

"Yes, there are."

"Look at her, a prisoner of the gutters. Condemned by every syllable she utters."

Sigh.

What was I saying?

2008-11-18T16:36:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling when you are about to say something and you get distracted and you forget what you're going to say? That frustration? That "it's on the tip of my tongue" but you just can't manage to remove it feeling? I just hate that.

I have to admit that I lose things more than I'd like to. Sometimes, it's because I have 4 children and one of them has relocated it for me. Sometimes, it's because hubby is being a "dear" and putting things away for me. (Notice how I'm not admitting fault in losing anything?) :o)

I lose my knitting. I lose my writings. I lost my mind some time ago. Sometimes, I even lose friends.

Okay, I have to admit, that sometimes I'm happy about that loss. I've lost a couple of chickipoos that should have been lost at sea as far as I'm concerned but I digress....

Facebook has been a terrible struggle for me. There's a fine line between the "I'd really like to know what someone is doing 20 years later because I miss them." and "Oh my God. If that person asks me to confirm them as a friend, I'm going to DIE because I'll HAVE too (out of some sense of warped obligation) and then well, there they are again after I shed them the first time."

I blame hubby for opening some of those doors that I thought I'd locked. >:o(

There are however, those friends that once I lost touch with them make me have that feeling that I forgot something and it's driving me nuts mixed with the feeling of stopping at a stop light but the inertia being weird and you never feel like you've settled back in (or am I the only one that has that weird feeling?)

There are three people that have really touched me in my life that I misplaced. People that I really connected with and at the risk of sounding corny, really felt a spiritual bond with. Through life changes, my self-absorption, or maybe even taking the friendship for granted, I've lost those three people.

The problem with psychic hotlines is that they never know anything substantial. They claim to know everything but can't tell me where my 10.5 circular knitting needle is. I can't call them and ask where my other earring is (the one I took out in my sleep) nor do they know where my knitting graph book is. Anyone? Where *did* I put that thing?

But eventually, when I'm looking for something else, I'll find it. That's always the way it works for me. I'm in the throws of frantically looking for my other flamingo shoe and I find my earring.

Tonight, as I sat down to the computer, I was looking for an escape. I had a horrible terrible no good day. Really, I'd only need a death in the family to have made it worse. So while I was looking for "something else", I found a lost friend of mine. Well, actually, HE found ME. Semantics. ;o)

It was the completing feeling of finally remembering what I was going to say after almost 20 years.

It was way better than finding my other flamingo shoe!

So here's a special blog shout out to my buddy. You know who you are! I've missed you terribly, friend! I'm glad life is treating you well. You deserve it. And I'm glad that fate shined on me today and I found you again.

... and I promise to be more careful with my prized possessions next time.

Those Autumn Leaves

2008-11-10T09:24:00.001-08:00

A present for you...

2008-11-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I thought about Christmas presents (or Channukah presents or Bodhi Day or Yule or Kwanzaa or Eid al Fitr - whatever you celebrate) for everyone.

Much to my dismay, my family doesn't groove on home made presents with the exception of my dear Mother in Law. And even if she doesn't like them, she's never been tacky as to tell me she doesn't like them. :o)

The only gift my parents like that I have made is an iPhoto book that we started doing a few years ago.

The rest of their presents are usually gift cards. It saves them the trouble of returning what I've bought them which happens every year. Just when I think I've gotten the perfect present, I see it in the bag to be donated to Salvation Army or they give it to me years later with the story, "I don't know who gave this to me but I never use it. Do you want it because I'm just going to throw it away."

OUCH!

So, the photo books are easy enough.

The hardest part is actually putting all of the photos together, Photoshopping them so they look good, and laying out the order.

My children are very photogenic (thankfully) and because I used to work as a photographer, I've trained them early on "good shots" and how to "pose" although I love candid shots too.

But not all of us have children and not all of us like to take pictures and not all of us want a bunch of pictures or books sitting around either.

So, I thought of weird presents that are so bizarre, someone will surely love them. Some of these things will be patterns I've written that were inspired by other people's work. (No copyright infringement - just my own twist on their ideas.)

Other things will be unusual gifts that aren't necessarily tied to the holidays (which is good because then you can use them all year long!)

Some things will be geared toward children (although you should know right now that I don't do popsicle sticks and glue stuff with my children - we're too cool and talented for that crap and so are you.) But I promise I'll make it easy and unique and fun.

Still other things will be adults only gifts. These may even be X-rated so if your'e squeamish, be forewarned. I'll put a warning on them though that they are not safe for work or around children (NSFW/NSFC). You'll have to look at them at home and when the children are asleep.

By the way, the Christmas music has started at my house so I'm in the mood to craft, bake, decorate, and create. I hope that these ideas, activities, desserts, and crafts (did she just type DESSERTS? Did she really? Is there a chance they are CHOCOLATE? Why yes, a VERY good chance!)

Anyway, starting December 1st, you'll find a new pattern, activity, or recipe here EVERY DAY until December 24th. After that, you're on your own and you get a raised eyebrow from me for waiting so long!

And because I don't want you to return them, exchange them, or regift them, you tell me what YOU'D like to see and I'll see if I can slip the word to Santa... or a little snow bird. :o)

What was she THINKING?

2008-11-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to say it. My friends (the majority, that is) are going to hate me for doing so but I just can't keep it in any longer.

WHAT THE HELL WAS MICHELLE OBAMA THINKING WHEN SHE PICKED THAT DRESS???

Thank God Blackwell is already dead although I suspect he was rolling over in his grave election night.

I'm sure on someone that dress is fitting. She'll probably also have dead-white skin, dyed black hair, fishnet stockings with rips in it, fingerless gloves, and black fingernails and lips. She'd be so Goth she's dead.

Really, people. At what point do your best girlfriends not tell you, "Oh, my God. I wouldn't and you shouldn't either." ?

Let me break it down for you.

What do these two pictures have in common?

So I have to ask myself, "Freudian slip?" or just bad taste. Because if *I* see this comparison, you can bet others will too.

There's no shame in talking to a fashion expert about what is appropriate to wear. The shame is in the designers that lie to make their designs coveted.

Michelle, really, next time? Please consult Stacy London before you go to a big shindig that people will remember FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!

Driver Picks the music, Shotgun shuts his cakehole

2008-11-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

I have a confession:

I love Christmas music. I could really listen to it all year long.

It's not so much that the songs are brilliant or even particularly breath-taking (although I'd say that Ave Maria or Oh Holy Night were), it's that they are familiar. They are easy to sing along to because since childhood, no matter what your faith, you've heard them.

I love the comfort and familiarity of them. Nothing evokes strong emotions in me like the memories I have of family gatherings with a soundtrack of love, fun, and goodwill toward men in the background.

I boastfully dare anyone to compare their Christmas music collection to mine. You just can't. My iTunes account says that should I listen to my Christmas music non-stop, it would take me almost a month. Simply put, I am the Christmas Music Goddess.

The familiarity and comfort of music isn't just at Christmastime. I am a huge fan of Classic Rock for the same reason. I know the songs. I grew up with them. They are part of who I am.

It's no wonder then that in my car you have two choices of music - Jazz or Classic Rock.

I know the words so I can mindlessly sing along and not have to actively listen while I'm driving. In other words, it's too distracting to listen to new music while I drive.

As my children enter their tweens and teens, we've embarked upon a new problem - Can I listen to xyz?

No.

Each of my children have iPods but we often play a game called "Radio DJ". When I ride shotgun, I get to be radio DJ because even though I'm not pushing the pedals or turning the steering wheel, I'm still mentally driving. I'm watching exits, idiots on the road, etc. I may take requests. I may surprise a child with a song I know they love but mostly, I control the music.

I'd love to say I'm not being controlling but I know I am. With four children each going in their own directions, no say in politics, no say in how others live, I feel that having to be in control of the music in the car is a small thing to ask.

My car. My radio.

Don't like what's on the radio? Turn on your iPod and shut your cakehole.

Election Eve

2008-11-03T08:52:00.000-08:00

My friends have been nagging me to write a political blog post since I'm so outspoken in person about politics but my thought was - you guys don't want to hear me regurgitate some "There are more than two parties, people!" diatribe to all of you.

I'm tired of the commercials, you're tired of the commercials... the last thing you need is one more endorsement to make you go insane and kill your neighbors. "He was always so quiet and kept to himself." you'd hear the other neighbors say on the 6 o'clock news.

Instead, I'll give you my dream cabinet. If *I* were in charge of the world.

These choices were based not just on International opinion of us because face it, I've put some scary mothers in charge of security. It's also based on the caricatures these departments have become and the ease in which we, as a society, place a character in a role instead of knowing what they truly represent.

Some appointments were simply for my amusement and hopefully the amusement of others around me.

And I cannot go without crediting my husband, Alan, for his vital contributions to this list. Who knew that Chong was really the drug expert and not Cheech?

Though we have long since ceased to be under a monarchy, I like to think of us (Alan and myself) as the King and Queen of this new political era.

Those of you disgusted with two-party systems and hoping for REAL change and not the other head of this two-headed beast called the Republicats or Demopubs pay close attention. You do not have to suffer your electile dysfunction alone!

YOU CAN WRITE IN A NAME!

Years past have always produced one particular name in American Politics - proof that you need not be qualified for the position if the people want you badly enough but truth be told, those that think McCain too old should really stop writing in "Mickey Mouse." First, he's a mouse. There's no chair that's going to fit him and unless Algernon is running as his VP, we're not going to get a lot of serious national commitment out of him.

Instead, I present you with OUR vision for national leaders:

President - Martin Sheen
Vice President - Arnold Schwartznegger
Secretary of Defense - Chuck Norris
Chief of Staff - Christopher Walken
Secretary of State - Bill Mahr
National Security Advisor - Sylvester Stallone
Secretary of the Treasury - Ben Stein
Attorney General - Jack Nicholson
Secretary of Homeland Security - Bruce Willis
Secretary of the Interior - Woody Harrelson
Secretary of Agriculture - Willie Nelson
Secretary of Commerce - Paris Hilton
Secretary of Labor - Sally Field
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Richard Simmons
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Martha Stewart
Secretary of Transportation - Dale Earnhart, Jr.
Secretary of Energy - Ed Begley, Jr.
Secretary of Education - Morgan "The Batman" Freeman
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Oliver Stone
Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency - Bear Grylls
Director of the Office of Management and Budget - Dave Ramsey
Director of the National Drug Control Policy - Tommy Chong
United States Trade Representative - Kyle MacDonald (the red paper clip guy - look him up!)
Chairman, Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System - Donald Trump
Commissioner of the Social Security Administration - Abe Vigoda
Director of National Intelligence - Fred Thompson
And my personal favorite ....
Whitehouse Spokesperson/Press Secretary - Antonio Banderas. (If I have
to watch these impromptu and boring interruptions, I want to have some eye candy.)

Thank you.

God bless you and God bless America!

Instant Make-over

2008-11-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

I love any TV show or magazine that shows before and after makeovers. I know that they're trivial and focus on the physical only. I understand that they're shallow. I love them all the same however.

It's no wonder then that Halloween gives me the same kind of joy.

Before and After.

Here is Katy getting ready for Halloween. At 7, she wore this skin-tight leopard suit much to my dismay. I can blame my mother who bought it for her, I guess. Truth is, I liked that she wanted to be a leopard. She saw Cats a few months ago and decided then that this is what she was going to be. I think I was just uncomfortable with the tightness of the costume and remarked that she was merely missing the pole.

She was beautiful however. Lots of compliments for my little leopardess.

Fun, huh?

Not to be outdone, Caleb went as a gargoyle. He loved it. I was so impressed with his decision and he totally got into the role.

Spooky!!!

Who said those art and theatre degrees were a waste!?!

Of course, you can't trick or treat without bags, right? Those were the next items on the agenda. (Because I do everything backward, doncha' know.)

This was so simple. We made the bags ourselves out of some scrap canvas I had.

After searching the Web for pumpkin stencils, I got the idea to use the same stencils to paint our bags.

I am so smart it's scary, I tell you. People should name a country after me. Hubby says they already have, "Turkey." See how hard it is to get good help?

Some black acrylic paint, a pumpkin stencil all cut out, some semi-tacky (just like me) spray adhesive so the paper will stay stuck to the fabric, some brushes, and we were in business.

It's always better to paint or decorate an item before you sew it up so that's what we did. This was so easy and the results were quite boutique-ish, I thought.

Both of them claim they'll use these bags after Halloween so we're also reducing, reusing, and recycling!

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!

It was a dark and stormy night...

2008-10-25T07:20:00.001-07:00

Well, I've committed to the whole NanoWriMo experience.

I don't know why this makes me nervous because realistically, no one will ever see it, no one really has an expectations from me as a writer, and it's not like I'm getting paid for doing it.

That said, maybe I'm more anxious than nervous.

My story is actually going to be about the Pony Express.

I'm a huge Western fan and my beef (ha ha!) is that there aren't a lot of them.

I mean, really! We get one Western a year in the movies (that are all usually pretty good) but it leaves me wanting another.

There will never be another Western as good as "The Outlaw Josey Wales" It is perfection. I'm not asking for perfection (okay, maybe I am) but where are the days of Gunsmoke, Bonanza, or Rawhide? Where is the next Louis L'Amour?

You know what's sad? The best Western series I've seen in a while is a sci-fi series (Firefly) that's no longer in production.

It's gotten so bad in the lack of a good Western that Australia is now becoming the runner up for best Westerns (not to be confused with the hotel chain.) Their Westerns are as good (if not sometimes better) than American ones... or those Spaghetti Westerns that PRETENDED to be American ones.

So, Clint, this one's for you and Marion and Roy.

Grasping for joy

2008-10-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

Today has not been a good day. Normally, I try to keep things light and fun and poke fun at the obvious. I try to find even the dark humor in things but today is not that day.

The mundane is that my husband is sick and so am I... completely different things, though. Another kidney/bladder infection for me, I'm afraid. I need a punch card. Get 10 and get a weekend in a resort free.

More serious is the news around me. I could make a joke about politics but that's not what's serious. That's the same players with a different name, my friends.

I had someone I really admire die last week. It upset me then and seems to grow heavier on my mind as the month wears on. It's a regret, really. A regret that I didn't get to know her better sooner. She was in her 80s and still contributing with ever fiber of her being to the community. It saddens me to think of all of the things I could have learned from her and didn't take time to do. That may be selfish, I don't know. I *do* know that I'm sad for not making an effort to share more life with her.

On the heels of that, my best friend in the world told me tonight that she's undergoing tests for cancer. My girlfriend and I have been through more together than I imagine most people have- no, I'm pretty confident in saying that we've been through a lot of serious stuff together and more than the majority of people will ever have to deal with and not end up in prison. We have shared laughs, loves, jokes, tears, good times and bad times. She is already a cancer survivor. Truth is, she's a survivor of a lot of terrible things - loss of a twin sibling, cancer, never knowing her real father, a bad marriage ending in an apathetic divorce, two children who really should be more appreciative of her, a brain injury (which I tease her only compliments her natural blondeness)... but through it all, she is always the one that's first on the phone to make you laugh or make sure your menial complaints seem as important as her cancer. I truly don't know anyone who will ever be a sister to me like she is and I'm being selfish again. I refuse to let anything bad happen to her - even if I have to punch cancer in the face personally.

I have already let her know that I will be with her at every appointment, smuggling in martinis, and singing Tony Bennet (she doesn't even LIKE Tony Bennet but it will make her laugh) or whatever else it takes to be by her side. I may even sing into a kitchen utensil... (What *is* it with these chick flicks and people singing into kitchen utensils???)

So tonight (and every night), I'm thankful to have her as my best friend and even more thankful that we're both A positive... should the need ever arise.

Baby, it's cold outside

2008-10-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's probably not as cold as some places but when you have a 30 degree temperature drop in 24 hours, 57 feels REALLY cold.

It's sweatah weathah, in other words. Cold... rainy... drizzly... yep. Time to sport the sweaters.

I told you before about the Drive Thru Sweater and I cannot sing of its praises highly enough! It's so easy and so quick and you can put whatever designs on it you choose. Done in the round and based on Elizabeth Zimmerman's formulations, this sweater... well, it just ROCKS! A pattern for only $5.50 and it's in sizes from 2T to size 16 - really, where can you get a better deal???

After making one for Katy, Katy's assignment was to make one for Connor. I was a "bad girl", though and jumped right in to make one for him too. Did I mention how much I like this sweater pattern?

What a handsome little GQ guy!!! The best part of this sweater? When we put it on him, he immediately said, "Mommy did!" "Booful Sweater!" (That would be "Mommy did this!" and "Beautiful sweater!" This little boy just makes my heart melt. Such a sweet little monkey.

And speaking of monkeys, I finally got a picture from my hubby of the monkey I made him to stay with him at work.

Many of you are aware I'm a huge JoCo fan (Johnathon Coulton). One of his songs is entitled "Code Monkey" and is about a man who writes computer code for a living. This is NSFW, btw and not really safe around children but here's the song:

This is the monkey:
I made the eyes out of Fimo and then a couple of dabs of white paint for the "sparkle" in his eyes. You know what would be cuter? To buy a tambourine from the Dollar Tree, disassemble it for the clinky things and have the monkey hold cymbals.

Yeah, I know. I have WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY too much time on my hands.

Right now, I'm working on an amigurumi sock monkey for a friend of mine's little girl. She has sock monkey pants and I just happen to think that's one of the coolest things on the planet. Now she needs a sock monkey to go with them.

I really don't have a monkey fetish. Truth be known, I'm a flamingo girl myself. Sometimes, though, you just gotta' go a little bananas.

South of the Border Ornaments in Crochet

2008-10-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

This has been a fun diversion.

I've removed the chili pepper ornament post that was originally here so that I could put all the patterns in one spot.

As you can see by the picture, added to the mix is a sombrero/mariachi hat, cactus, and a blanket.

These were designed for a project to make and send ornaments to the troops overseas.

We have lots of themes, but this one seemed lacking in online resources so I thought I'd design my own patterns for it!

Now, I'm not the best pattern designer out there so if you have any problems, please let me know. If you're like me, you manipulate patterns to work for you so I encourage you to try that first.

Have fun!

For Patterns, CLICK HERE

Witches, flying monkeys, and glow in the dark yarn

2008-09-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

A lot going on these last couple of weeks.

Let's start with witches.

To summarize an e-mail I wrote about this event, here we go:

We went to Busch Gardens last weekend and as is typical, Jake's dragging me through all of the haunted mansions where they are in costume and jump out at you. While I do admit it fun to
be scared, well, they have this down to a science - let me tell you. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

We came upon a group of "Witches" that were huddling and I thought they were going to scare us but I heard one of them say, "Is she okay?" so we stopped. She collapsed in my arms.

Jake and I immediately went into action. We start removing her mask (did you know that some masks ZIP???) We finally remove it and she's VERY hot. Her eyes are closed and I'm concerned she may have heat exhaustion or even heat stroke. Jake gets water for her and starts
removing the gloves she has on. We work in tandem getting rough vitals and statistics from her - she has no idea what day of the week it is or who the President is. I'm finally able to get from her that she has high blood pressure and her list of meds. Jake is sitting beside her compassionately speaking to her and giving her sips of water as she then explains that she's hit her head. He then helps me check her head for a wound. (Closed wound)

Once first aid gets there, I'm able to give report and we get blood pressure readings of 160 over 100 WITH medication. Ugh. Jake jumps in with expert gait training and moves her to a wheelchair. As an aside, I wasn't very impressed with their first aid employees. Take caution if you go and get injured.

When the EMT arrives, Jake is able to explain what has happened with side notes from me. The EMT asks him, "How did you know what to do?" Jake answers proudly, "Boy Scouts!"

I was very proud of him for not losing his cool but moreover, for the compassion he showed for the woman.

It was good to know that my medical training came back "Just like that."

Flying monkeys? None, really. I just think they're funny. :o)

Glow in the dark yarn??? YES! Bernat has glow in the dark yarn! This has to be one of the coolest things I've ever seen! My first thought was, "What in the world am I going to do with this after Halloween?" Then it dawned on me! Baby's favorite toy that's always getting lost? Now it's found. "Where's that other mitten?" Now you know! This is sheer brilliance! My only critique? "Worm White" should DEFINITELY be "Glow Worm White"

And... shiny object syndrome strikes again. I'm making Christmas ornaments while knitting another drive-thru sweater, and in the meantime, cross stitching an orchid picture for my mother for Christmas. I'm trying to get my hand-made Christmas gifts done before November 1st. Lots and lots to do!

As an aside, I seem to be still hat-alive. My assassin told me she mailed my hat two weeks ago but I've yet to see it (good!!!). HER assassin has contacted me. MY target has contacted me... it's all so very strange, elusive, and confusing. Lots of fun, however.

What's in your lap that's occupying your time?

Let there be peace on Earth...

2008-09-20T19:13:00.001-07:00

... and let it begin with me.

Tonight, I'm making it begin with me. I had the misfortune of being sent a website about White Power (why I even capitalize that is beyond me.) The site focuses on homeschooling as a way to separate ones child from other races and religions and then goes on with the typical hate speech we thought ended in the 1960s in Selma, Alabama.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for Free Speech and the First Amendment but really, what company in their right (Reich?) mind would even want to associate with a website like that?

Well, I'll tell you what company, Dreamhost.

If FoodLion (a local grocery store chain) posted signs that they'd only sell to White people, I wouldn't shop there and you can be SURE I would tell my friends not to.

So, friends, I'm asking you to not use Dreamhost as a hosting site for your website.

Most hosting companies have clear standards of sites they'll allow (and that includes NO tolerance for hate speech.) For some reason, being a Nazi is okay with Dreamhost and attacking other religions or races is okay with them too.

They have a "no child pornography" rule on their website (showing that they will INDEED put limitations on free speech if it gets THEM in trouble) but they obviously have little regard for child safety if they allow a site on how to teach hate to children to remain.

Even the Supreme Court placed limits on the First Amendment, my friends. So has our government under the Patriot Act.

The First Amendment is precious but I think that Peace and the message of Love is even greater.

It's WJWD.

Hat or Death?

2008-09-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

This is the hat I made for the Hat Attack on Ravelry. Lots of fun. Lots of concentration broken with my little ones running around but I really like it.

I knit over 10,000 stitches in under two days. That's amazing even to me! I hope my "target" likes her "sweet taste of death". If nothing else, it will keep her from catching her "death" when it's cold. :o)

I got a message that my assassin has mailed hers. It's beautiful! Cream, pumpkin. She told me I'd die by pumpkin pie. :o)

This has been a lot of fun!

Let me check my list

2008-09-15T10:08:00.001-07:00

Lots of new shiny objects - so many, in fact, that I've been away for a couple of weeks while I get "sichiated."

School started for us last week. That in itself was enough to drive me to drink. Usually, I theme teach. I pick a subject: Trees, for example, and each "grade level" will have their work to do.

3rd grade would maybe be to find out how to age a tree (counting rings); identify barks of some trees; what it means to be a "native" plant; list 5 native trees; leaf rubbings and identification of trees by leaves; search for items that come from trees; read/write tree poems; visit an arboretum; etc.

6/7th grade would do the above and label the layers of a forest, define an ecosystem and find 10 animals that use trees solely as their habitat; plant trees for an eco-project; research what it means to reclaim wood & write a report about it, etc.

10th grade would do all of the above and carve or make something from reclaimed wood; research local threats to trees; work on petitions or other political cause for trees; etc.

Easy peasy, right? I mean, honestly, you can see how simple this would be.

Apparently, even though it wasn't broken, I decided to fix it.

This year, we did Oak Meadow curricula for third and 7th grade. Jake's working on Biology, Chemistry, Business Writing, Business Math, Government (and volunteering during the election), Speech/Forensics/Apologetics.

This is in addition to: Boy Scouts (both boys), SCUBA lessons (Caleb), Equestrian Vaulting (Caleb and Katy), Girl Scouts (Katy), American Heritage Girls (Katy), 4-H (all of them), Select Soccer (Jake), Lazer Tag League (both boys), Ballet (Katy), and odd things here and there like auditions for music, modeling, etc.

Who called this HOME schooling?

With this much busyness came total melt down. No, not from my children.... from ME.

I don't mind the extra curriculars. It really does give me time to knit while I wait for practice or knit while I wait for scouts to end or sew or cross stitch or paint, whatever. :o)

I learned from some wise people on a homeschool list I'm on to delegate and that made the world MUCH easier.

What made it even MORE easy was to give THEM a list. I'm famous for my lists of things. For some reason, it never dawned on me to make THEM a list too. Voila! Worked like a charm.

This has left me some knitting room!!! Another sweater in the works! This is a pattern from Lion Brand with Wool-Ease yarn.
Connor has two pairs of brown pants and I thought when I got them, "What am I going to do with these?" Then I saw this sweater and... well, brown has never been my favorite (except in the form of brownies), I think this is cute.

Speaking of cute, I got this new book "Cute Stuff." I've already started on the bunny hair bands. They're adorable! I can see the pile of monkeys being on an overall for Connor too. So fun.

I finished a ballet sweater for Katy but the assembly was horrible so I have to undo it and resew it.

I'll post pictures of that when it's completed.

Next, I make a list of Christmas gifts to make.

THINK before you speak

2008-08-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Abe Lincoln said, "Nothing is opened more by mistake than the mouth."

Thumper's father had another take on it, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." (yes, I know. The double negative is HIS not mine.)

With four children, spats and fights are bound to happen. We are a "no hitting" household so I'm sure you can imagine how it goes all over me for one to hit another.

While the physical torment of each other is minimal (thank God!), the mouth. Ah, the mouth.

Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.

It is true. Nothing is opened more by mistake than the mouth.

I learned early on that a quick wit and sharp tongue go together all too well. (A friend and I had our astrological charts done - Leo with Gemini rising. He told me that meant I was the world's most quick-witted smart-allec. I'm sure many of my friends agree - regardless of one's belief in astrology.) The real challenge was in thinking and not speaking.

This is the lesson I'm striving to teach my children.

In doing so, we created bracelets. In the faddish world of things on your wrist from "Live Strong" to "BELIEVE" (why does that remind me of George Carlin's skit, "Somewhere between 'Live free or die' and 'famous potatoes' is the meaning of life." ?) I was sure that this fashion statement would make a difference.

I'm a firm believer of The Complaint Free World movement but I needed something more. In all honesty, I needed to be able to point out to them what they were doing without having to move my own bracelet, thank you very much.

Hence, my "THINK" bracelets were born.

These aren't just to remind them to think before they speak (although that is the main purpose). Each of the letters actually stand for something. (Because if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.... or something like that. )

Rather, it's an acronym for what's really going on in your head.

Is what you're about to say:

T- thoughtful
H - helpful
I - intelligent
N- necessary
K - kind

With a house full of smart allecs, it didn't take long for them start being sarcastic. "Is it NECESSARY that I wear this?" chimes in one of them. Another picks up the ball, "Is it HELPFUL for this to hang on my wrist while I'm trying to do stuff?" Another can't be outdone, "Is it KIND to make me have to wear this?"

I am not amused. My stone face and raised eyebrow (think: Spok) silence them immediately. This is also known as the "Mommy Look". You know the one.

I answer, "Is it INTELLIGENT for you to tick me off?" I continue, "Is it NECESSARY for you to be such pains in the..." I'm sure you get the idea.

Keep in mind, I've created this because I'm sick (and tired) of hearing them bicker. The last thing I wanted to do was give them a unified front against ME. Best laid plans.

But here is the bracelet:

Jake modeling his hemp T.H.I.N.K bracelet.

As you see, you'll need some alphabet letter beads, some hemp or embroidery floss, a bit of glue (waterproof glue works the best) and maybe some other colored beads if you want to go all out.

A good rule of measurement is to do 4 times the circumference of your wrist. Since only the outer strings are used for macrame, they will get shorter faster.

Really, it's just a matter of square knots, half knots, and bead placement. The sky is the limit with regard to your creativity. Put a dab of glue on the end knots to keep them secure. Keep in mind that hemp doesn't do well if it gets wet so you really should make this bracelet removable (as opposed to just tying it on your wrist.)

There you have it - a Mommy/Daddy audiovisual on how peace is SUPPOSED to happen in the home.

As The Complaint Free World website will tell you, it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Be consistent, be firm, and be consciously aware of how you speak to them and expect the same thing in return.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
- Mark Twain

Breathing isn't as easy as you think...

2008-08-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

Many of us do it wrong. If you're reading this, you may argue since in order to read this you'd need to be alive and to be alive you need to breathe. That almost sounded Schrodinger, didn't it? Light and airy. Light and airy. That's the goal of this blog. I can discuss metaphysics with the best of them, forensic pathology is a specialty of mine, and I'm a shoe-in for most Quantum Physics discussion competitions... but this is not that blog.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. Light and airy.

So, speaking of light and airy, I'm in the process of an OCD purge. "What is that?" you ask? It's really complicated, actually. Not at all how "normal" people think, I'm sure. Most people have pictures in their mind of Monk with his 900 phobias. Truth be known, he's not really as OCD as he'd like to claim. The other end of OCD is the hoarding aspect. You know those people with like 80 cats? That's OCD too.

That's where I tend to lay - at the hoarding end of the spectrum. Not in an 80 cats kind of way. That's just creepy (and smelly! Do these people just not have any olfactory functions at ALL???) But I do like to have stuff... just not how you may picture it.

So combine this hoarding with Shiny Object Syndrome and Houston, we have a problem. Now, I don't consider it a problem. Well, let me explain. Walk with me as I talk.

You see, when I find a new craft to try, I like to have all the equipment that comes with it. Let me retype that. When I find a new craft to try, I like to have ALL the equipment that comes with it.

I knit. I have every knitting needle size (straight, circular, and double pointed) there is. My justification is, at 3am when I just HAVE to knit something, I'll be prepared. You can imagine what my yarn stash is like too. Odds are, I have one of each type of popular yarn in every fashion color.

I crochet. I have every hook too.

I paint (watercolors). Yep, you guessed it. Every brush and color of paint.

I also do "folk painting" (also known as tole painting or even One-Stroke). I have every acrylic and brush for that too.

Are you starting to get the idea?

Magazines are a particular problem with me. I am a magazine addict so I have to pick my magazine addiction wisely. Family Fun is a no-brainer. With children in Scouts and all of the children's activities I lead, it's a valued resource. Pack-O-Fun is another magazine like that.

Other magazines?

Knit Simple
Knit1
Interweave Knits
Simply Knitting
Vogue Knitting
Knitter's
Cast On
Sew Beautiful (that one just takes my breath away)
Living Crafts (OMG! I just love this magazine!)
Craft
Taste of Home

and a few others I can't place right now. I store them in a bin for future use and I do go back and use them.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop at magazines. I have 6 sewing machines, 2 sergers, and an embroidery machine. (Have to have a back-up!) I have a knitting machine, weaving loom, quilting stand, and many knitting looms. I have spindles for spinning and hubby is making me a spinning wheel.

The bigger problem is, I have a 3 bedroom ranch and there are 6 of us. Space is VERY limited.

This brings us full circle to the purge part.

If you don't know about Freecycle.org, you should. I don't like to throw away things but I'm great about giving them away.

When the six month rule hits our house ("If you haven't touched it in 6 months, it's outta' here!"), it often hits hard. Patterns that my children have outgrown are often the first to go. I Freecyle them quite often. Clothing? Gone. Children? Oh, I have to keep those. Damned rules of civilized society! (kidding, obviously)

Books... those are harder. I love books. They are like little square people. (I made myself laugh on that one.) I *have* managed to get that one under control. Libraries don't work well for me because I'm so busy, I seldom get to one and when I do, I seldom get back to one so I rack up huge fines. The new library here is probably built on my fines alone. You're welcome.

The good news is, I hate shoes. I really do. I can't think of any use for those damned things aside from keeping my feet warm in the event it actually gets cold here. Foul things. I'm sure one of Dante's levels is nothing but shoes. You don't have to worry about closets of shoes at this house, that's for sure. I'm also of the same mind with purses. My mother and sister love them. They have dozens (and have the nerve to complain about my crafting supplies!). I have tote bags to carry my crafting stuff but I maybe have 3 purses and none of them I bought. They were all gifts. I assume from people feeling sorry for me that I didn't have a purse.

OH!!! But, I should clarify that I LOVE flip flops. If I have to wear shoes, they will be flip flops. My mother bought me these for my birthday (In addition to the second serger.)

Are those not the coolest things you've ever seen? My ribbon collection will love this new craft! See? Now I can get rid of my ribbon AND my beads and buttons! Good move, Mom!

All of this to say, that I've spent the last 16 hours (because OCD's are nothing if not diligent and relentless LOL) cleaning out the garage. Once cleaned, I was able to move book shelves down there and bins of crafting supplies - both of which were living in my dining room/school room. AND the garage is clean! I actually am ABLE to put things down there and they are organized in bins (the other end of the OCD spectrum so I "swing both ways" so to speak. Ahem.)

And you'll never guess what happened. I could BREATHE better! Hubby (being a staunch BuddaChrist) nodded to my Chi comment. A minimalist, he's thrilled to get things out of the house. I often remind him that crack houses are very minimalist - a mattress on the floor and a table, usually. He's not amused. Not everyone appreciates my comic genius, I've found. :oD

Back to the point - as silly as it sounds, I could actually breathe more deeply and think. The clutter was gone - well, almost gone. I still have to work on my bedroom. But, in the immortal words of the "Fly Lady", my sink is clean and I have no hot spots in the living room, dining room, or kitchen now.

I'm hoping to create even more this week. (Create art, I mean) Once I create, I can get rid of things. I use yarn to make a scarf to give away. See how easy that is? I'm putting together a pile of books now that we just aren't going to use for homeschooling. My choice is to Freecycle it, trade it in at our local homeschooling store, or find a friend in need. Truth is, it will be whichever is faster to get it out of my house.

Maybe one day I'll have the house I dream about.

If I can just figure out how to live in Ikea... There's lots of room there to breathe, I'm sure.

If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey...

2008-08-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

Even if it has a monkey kind of shape.
If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey.
If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey, it's an ape.

Easily understood in theory... but as Bob is quick to point out, "A comet has a tail."

Not that anything in this blog is cohesive but just so you don't think I've gone COMPLETELY random, I crocheted a monkey this week. :o)

Isn't that adorable? (And notice the tail. That's important in monkeyhood.)

I have to admit I have a weakness for the "strange and unusual" because I, myself, am "strange and unusual." to quote Winona Ryder in Beetlegeuse.

Crocheted zombies. It's so funny and weird. I love it. You know, I'm pro-zombie and I vote.

I like crocheting and knitting weird things. I like to make food, internal organs, and even breasts (even though these are for charitable purposes for women who have had mastectomies).

OH!! Check THIS out!

Hyperbolic Mathematical Coral Reefs in Crochet!

Okay, okay. I get it. I may be one of the only people in the world to think that this is sheer brilliance but to take mathematical equations and apply them to art in such a soft and compelling texture is amazing to me.

I know the marriage of math and art isn't anything new. I'm quite aware of the Golden Ratio and even went so far as to be vain enough (or maybe insecure enough?) to match my face to see if I was mathematically "beautiful". You can do it too. Here.

There is science behind "beauty", it seems. (Of course the science of Clairol and Max Factor help a lot too.) :o)

But sometimes "ugly" is cute too! Crocheted skeletons or knitted monsters have their appeal as well.

Flying Spaghetti Monsters are VERY cute! (May you be blessed by His Noodly Appendage!) This is from Alltoomuch's flickr page, btw. Very talented.

So I guess the addage, "One man's trash is another man's treasure" really is true.

You can think this is beautiful:

And this rose is made entirely of sugar, by the way.

Or you can think THIS is beautiful:

And both be right... although many would look at you as if you were odd if you picked the latter, I'm sure. :o)

4 cakes in one day

2008-08-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be nice if they were birthday cakes? Well, no, actually I don't think that'd be nice either. I'm not big on cakes since I decorate them as part of my living.

Today, though, I made 4 dummy cakes. What's a dummy cake? It's a cake you give idiots. Not really. :o) It's a Styrofoam cake that you decorate for display. I needed 4 of them to show different techniques. Those cakes you see in bakery windows aren't real so you know. They're nothing but foam and royal icing. Sometimes not even icing. Sometimes it's plaster.

It really cut into my knitting time, though. I'm currently working on a ballet sweater for Katy.

Before you start thinking that I only knit for Katy, that's just not true. I've just been working on things for her as of late. I've actually had this sweater in "storage" for a while because I didn't like the eyelet pattern changes and got tired of it and put it away. It was hibernating. Now it's out, though, and I'm working on the second sleeve now and all I have to do is put it together.

I've spent the day not sewing, as I had hoped, but still getting things done. Little by little my finished projects are finding their way off of the floor or off the baker's rack in the garage and getting done and really, I think it's the blogging that has made me do that. It helps me be accountable to someone (or many someones) that read my blog and in turn, I work harder on my projects.

Hubby is thrilled that little by little things are leaving the house. He is very patient with my SOS and dare I say sometimes enabling!

But I'm getting geared up for the fall - new homeschool year (curriculums are all ordered and ready to go), new Girl Scout year (all designed and ready for action!), and new Little Ladies Book Club year (Latin, creative writing, and books - all taught by me). To that mix, I'm throwing my hat in the ring to try to lead an American Heritage Girl Troop. I've been colaborating with someone I admire greatly who is encouraging me to do this.

Lots of time and not enough to do ... scratch that. Reverse it. Thank you.

A present to myself

2008-08-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today is my 40th birthday. I've received many well-wishes and some of those were rather apologetic.

Truth is, I'm okay with 40. I consider it having a certain amount of clout. I now feel I can tell many a twenty-something to get bent and feel confident in doing so. I've been around twice as long as they have and around the block dozens more times. 40 has the ambiance of a well-seasoned and knowledgeable woman of experience. I like the fit.

Many wonderful things happened today. Lots of fun experiences.

My father showed up at my door (albeit the house was a mess) to deliver about 2 dozen red roses. AW! The note attached wondered how I could be 40 if they (my mother and father) were only 49. I concur. I have very young acting and active parents.

One of my best friends came by with a card and the wonderful gift of sweeping my children away so I could enjoy some solitude... well, almost. Connor at 25 months still isn't ready for outings with people he doesn't know well (i.e. anyone that's not my parents) so Connor and I spent the afternoon making Tollhouse Cookies. Mmmm.

When hubby got home, he took Connor and me out for sushi and to a great chocolate supplier called "The Royal Chocolate" where our waitress was another homeschooler. Nice touch! We sat at the table by the window and enjoyed chocolate fondue. In case you didn't catch that Connor was a new two, we sat at the table by the window and enjoyed chocolate fondue with a TWO YEAR OLD!

It was one of the funniest things I've ever done. There was chocolate all over his face and fingers. Alan and I were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Connor sang praises to his "choc" (what he calls chocolate) and then we realized we had drawn a crowd from the passersby on the street.

People walking by in crowds stopped in their tracks, walked ahead to gather the friends who had left them to pull them back to the window, and they laughed at Connor's chocolaty face. It was glorious.

They laughed. Connor laughed. We laughed.

One gentleman stopped with his wife and pretended to lick chocolate through the window. Connor was tickled and fell into a belly laugh that only toddlers seem to be capable of producing.

I couldn't have paid for better birthday entertainment.

To top off the evening, I finished Katy's sweater. I was very proud of myself. No frogging. No mistakes. It's the first non-Amish knitting I've ever done (Amish women intentionally have mistakes in their work because only God is perfect. I PRETEND mine were intentional.)

Katy's New Sweater

This pattern was super easy and uber quick. I'm ready to cast on another one! This was that "Drive Thru" sweater I mentioned before in one of my last posts.

I'll be working on some sewing next, though. I'm going to make a business card holder and a wallet. Maybe even a couple of totes.

... now off to enjoy some Key Lime Pie (my other favorite dessert!)

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear knowledgeable/experienced/wise woman of fortyyyyyyyyyyyyy, happy birthday to me!

Shelley's Road Trip Activities and Creative Prompts for Road Travel Entertainment

2008-08-10T16:26:00.001-07:00

I spent the Friday, yesterday, and today knitting Katy's sweater. One sleeve done. One sleeve half done. The body done. I just need to finish the sleeve and do the yoke.

While driving to Kerr Dam yesterday, my goal was to knit, knit, knit. To keep the children occupied, I made activity books for them.

This may sound ordinary. I mean, who doesn't have tic-tac-toe, battleship, or car bingo ready to go on a road trip? I don't do those kinds of activity books - lest you've forgotten who you're reading.

Welcome to Shelley's Road Trip Activities and Creative Prompts for Road Travel Entertainment. Yeah, they'll never fit that on a cereal box. Let's just call it the "Roadside Creativity Book".

Each child gets a sketch book and a composition book. Keep in mind my children (that write) are 7, 11, and 14. I need to make sure that the assignments can be done on many age levels.

I must admit that the assignments are spontaneous but I will try to recall some of them for you.

Assignments start with the announcement, "Pencils at the ready?" or "Colored pencils at the ready?" or whatever writing implement or craft item they will be using. I don't tell them ahead of time because half the fun is searching through their bags for the correct implement.

Well, I guess that means I need to back up and tell you what's in the bag, huh?

I have 4 children. 3 participate. Those of you with multiples know that while the idea of sharing is important, it's really a good idea for them to each have a bag. That way we're not all fighting over the black marker. (That's ALWAYS the one they seem to be fighting over.) Trust me when I say that life goes easier when everyone has their own black marker. Feel free to quote me on that.

Bag Contents:

Pipsqueak markers
Crayola 64 count colored pencils (the tiny ones)
Mechanical pencils (no sharpeners or shavings in the car)
Twistables crayons (YES, TWISTABLES!!! This keeps you from having broken crayons)
Aluminum foil (a cheap roll) one for each child
Colored pipe cleaners
Small sandwich bag of beads
Hemp cording (I originally just had "hemp" down there but I know how some of you are LOL)
4 skeins of embroidery floss
Scissors
Clip board (I like the ones that are like a box that opens)

So where are we going to go? Because that's an important question in the scheme of the "Roadside Creativity Book". Let's say we're taking a 3 hour trip to a working farm. That'll be easy (especially since I've done it.)

Pencils at the ready?

Name 10 people that live in the town of "Sourville". (Or whatever small town name that strikes you as funny.)

The thought is that this will take about 10 - 20 minutes. We want first and last names. Since I'm from the South, it is of particular importance for me to point out to the children that many names are really two FIRST names, "Sally June", "Billy Ray", "Ida Claire", etc. (Don't laugh about the last one. I really have known women...)

This sets up the characters of their story that they don't know they're writing yet. Aha! Tricky AND educational. Don't you just love it?!?

I have each of them read them aloud to me (and hubby) when they're done.

"Great job! I feel like I know the town's folk already! Pencils at the ready?!?!"

"Pick one of the names on your list and tell me a bit about him or her."

Another 15 - 20 minutes will go by. They then read them aloud again.

"Jake? Meet "Sally Fay". Caleb? Meet "Johnny Earl". Katy? Meet "Bubba Jenkins". " I announce.

"Jake? Sally Fay just baked you the sweetest sweet potato pie you ever did have." said in my best Southern drawl. "Describe that pie so I feel like I'm eating every bite right along with you." and I bat my eyelashes.

"Caleb? Bubba Jenkins just stole the pie that Sally Fay REALLY baked for YOU. Tell me about how you're gonna' git in your pickup truck and drive down yonder a piece and give him a piece of yer mind." I tell him.

"Katy? Johnny Earl's gonna' ask you to marry him but you can't stand that he smells like pigs. I mean, he IS a pig farmer and all. Let him know that you can't marry a man who smells like a dead skunk on a hot summer day by thinking up things he smells like." I smile.

Katy is giggling so hard she can't breathe. "You smell like a dirty diaper that's been left in the sun next to a fish factory." I hear her saying.

This takes them a bit longer - maybe 30 minutes or so. This gives me time to look around at the scenery and notice things about the landscape for our next "assignment".

I'VE GOT IT! There are signs all over the place that you just don't see in the city. Yellow caution signs with tractors on them, deer crossing signs, those types of things.

When they are finished and have read their hilarious scenarios, I let them know that the Mayor of Sourville just called me and they need some help in city planning. No one will come to work in the middle of a feud between Sally Fay, Bubba Jenkins, and Johnny Ray so they're asking for outside help.

They need a sign to warn people of the dangers of being out in a rural area. Can they help?

"Crayons at the ready?!?!" Sketch pads open furiously. They can't draw fast enough. They are laughing, hiding their pictures from each other, and asking me questions like, "Do they have armadillos here?" (No, they don't, btw.) I think if I were going to draw a sign it would be a yellow caution sign with a dead skunk and those wavy lines coming off of it. THAT'S a smell that lingers, let me tell you! Whew! It smells like a stinky sneaker left in a pile of rotting cabbage near a sulfur spring. (Tell me *I* couldn't have helped Sally Fay along!)

The other items in the bag are for friendship bracelets (that they usually end up giving each other, aw!) and pipe cleaner animals.

The writing prompts are usually a favorite, though.

"Pencils at the ready?!?!" They eagerly look for their mechanical pencils, rummaging through the back seat.

"A haiku about an outhouse."

Roars of laughter and I see them immediately start counting syllables on their fingers.

My children love to write and they love to perform for us. This keeps them (and us) occupied and entertained with something new all of the time.

"Children? There's a new species of fern just discovered. It's properties are known to kill bacteria and foul odors. Perfect for growing around outhouses. I need you to describe it, name it, draw it, and yes, plant it. Trust me. COLORED PENCILS AT THE READY?!?!" And they're off! Drawing pictures, cross sections, seeds, root systems, and descriptions that would make any Victorian botanist proud.

Some "assignments" are more serious than others. Once, when taking a trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains, they drew pictures of the mountains in the distance and wrote poems about God. If you've ever been there, you'd have to admit you feel very close to the Creator while atop the mountains in the middle of a cloud.

I'll have them look just at the tree tops and describe what they see (since we typically only look straight ahead as humans.) I'll have them draw the forest floors.

This is usually only interrupted by me yelling, "SASQUATCH! QUICK! WRITE AN ARTICLE ON HOW TO GET AWAY!"

..... "Pencils at the ready?"

P.S. If you put a comment in the comment box, I'll let you know what the aluminum foil is for. ;o)

Thing a Day

2008-08-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

I should start by saying ,"It's my birthday month!" because Leos don't have birthDAYS, they have birthMONTHS! :oD

For my birthmonth, I'm trying to do something creative every day.

Drive Thru Sweater Pattern (picture from pattern)

I cast on a sweater today that I just love and I love it for several reasons.

It's made with worsted so it's fast
It's on size 8 needles so it's fast
It's based on EZ's math so it will make sense
The pattern comes with sizes from toddler to teen
It's only FIVE BUCKS!

You can find the pattern here.

The designer is SUPER nice and I got my pattern so quickly that I'm embarrassed to say that after my impatience of getting the pattern, I only cast on today.

Regardless, in less than 1/2 hour, I had already done the ribbing for a size 8 sweater. YAY!

I'll take a break at sometime today to do a quick craft that I can post here but the sweater is my ongoing project for a while (along with the Noah's Ark pattern).

Meatless Meat Loaf - a delicious oxymoron

2008-08-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I teased a friend of mine that instead of taking payment for something, she could find a meatless meatloaf recipe for me. I first made this about 20 years ago and lost the recipe. Through the bolean searches of which I am Queen of Bolean LOL, I happened to find it.

However, I like mine a little more "meaty" tasting so I added a little bit to the recipe here and there. I will put the additions and changes in asterisks so you can omit them if you wish.

Veggie Meatloaf
(or as we call it, "Mushloaf" for the mushrooms not the consistency) :o)

This is a variation of the recipe from Vegetarian Nights by Bonnie Mandoe

1 cup cooked brown rice
2 cups grated **extra sharp** Cheddar cheese (the original recipe calls for regular Cheddar Cheese)
1/2 cup wheat germ or seasoned bread crumbs
1 cup FINELY chopped walnuts
1 cup chopped mushrooms (**portabellos are the best in this, I think**)
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 cup finely grated carrot
1/2 cup minced green pepper
6 beaten eggs (the original recipe calls for 5 but it falls apart with so few)
2 Tbsp. Shoyu (soy sauce)
2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/2 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. marjoram
1/2 tsp. sage
** 1 tsp. minced garlic**
** 1/4 A-1 sauce**
** 2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce**
** 1/2 cup ketchup to coat the top of veggie loaf**

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients and press into buttered 9-inch loaf pan. Coat top with ketchup. Bake 50 to 60 minutes until firm. Serves 6.

I tell you, this is DELICIOUS! The consistency and appearance are spot on! You will never know you're not eating hamburger, I promise.

My friend that I told you about, Shez, has never eaten meat. If she makes this, she'll know exactly what hamburgers and meatloaf taste like. :o)

Two-fer

2008-08-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

Today you get a two-fer-one of my blog posts plus a little extra thrown in for fun.

This is the cake I made for our pastor's retirement. Yes, I know, you've never seen chocolate praying hands before. I know. I heard it about 7,000 times that day. :o)

Anyway, I don't usually do fancy cakes in chocolate like that except for groom's cakes because believe it or not - there are people in the world that don't like chocolate. I know. I gasped too. Now, I'm not one for eugenics but wow, anti-chocolate eaters? Wait a minute. If THEY don't eat it, it means more for US! Nevermind.

Anyway, my pastor and his wife LOVE chocolate and I was only too happy to oblige.

I can't tell you how it tasted even though others raved. You see, I don't like berries with the exception of grapes. (Yes, they are a berry. Look it up.)

Feel free to comment. I've noticed I have a few hundred hits on my blog and no one ever comments. Well, a few do but it's grossly disproportionate to the people who view it.

Now for the fun (as if chocolate cakes weren't enough fun, I mean.)

A Meme.

Name six things that people don't know about you. Then feel free to tag 6 people. I'm tagging my friends Shez, Tina, Alan, Jake, Yvonne, and AD.

1) I eat M&Ms one color at a time and in pairs. Odd M&Ms have to be split or given away.

2) I am an expert at picking up things with my feet.

3) When I was younger, my secret wish was to sing like Olivia Newton John (I'm so embarrassed I admitted that!)

4) I love crochety old people. I swear I do. They are funny and at 90, they DESERVE to be crochety! The meaner they are, the more I like them.

5) I used to be able to drink a Navy chief under the table. Really. I don't do it anymore (since having children) but I used to be able to do that whole scene from Indiana Jones.

6) I don't have a gag reflex unless I'm holding a writing pen in my mouth like how people would hold an arrow in their mouth in the old Westerns.

Esne Elephantus?

2008-08-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

Elephant Pieces Before

If you're not familiar with Alan Dart's knitting patterns, you're surely missing out on a treat. They are fun, whimsical, detailed, and so much more than normal toy patterns.

I'm working on the Noah's Ark pattern and I must say - this is *NOT* a project for someone suffering from SOS. I say this because those of us who suffer from SOS also suffer from SSS (second sock syndrome). The first sock is fun and new and is quick to knit up. Then there's that dreaded second sock. You've btdt but you HAVE to finish - unless you're a pirate and only need one sock.

It's that MANDATE of making another that bums you out and makes the project less enticing and dare I say, I get a little resentful of it.

Well, it doesn't take a biblical scholar to know that Noah's animals came two by two and this is the rub.

While I've finished ONE elephant, I now know that I have to do another one... emphasis on the "have to".

Still, I want to make this. I'm torn between it being a gift for Connor (but he has so many stuffed animals already) and it being an item for my church to sell at our Christmas Bazaar (where it won't fetch NEARLY the amount it will be worth upon completion.) Sigh. A conundrum.

Elephant Pieces After

So, a little bit of trivia. Did you know that a Noah's Ark toy was the ONLY toy with which Colonial and Victorian children were allowed to play? As you can imagine, it became very popular very fast.

And by the way, if you're wondering what "Esne Elephantus" means, it's asking, "Are you an elephant?" Who says Latin isn't useful? :o)

Crafting for God

2008-08-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

In a round about way, anyway.

I realized I'd spent too much time the last few blog posts ranting and not enough positive energy was being sent out. I'm hoping to fix that. I don't really want this to be a ranting blog although you'll have to indulge me and my moods every now and then.

This week's crafting took on a more holy flair. :o) I had to make a skirt for Katy's worship dance. At first, I was told I needed to have a skirt for her. After I bought the fabric and made one, they told me they had them if I needed one. I love when people are organized. LOL Actually, I don't want to take anything away from this camp. It was wonderful, the people were great, and I'm sure I misunderstood the skirt directions. The volunteers put together a spectacular performance of nothing but CHILDREN in FOUR days. I was blown away.

So I had to make a circle panel skirt. This was easy enough in theory but I can't work on theory (ask my Geometry teacher from days of yore. She'll tell you.) I have to have a pattern to do things. I just do. My girlfriend teases me that I had to have a pattern for a scrunchie. Sad but true.

I measure her waist to ankle - 27 inches. I measure her waist - 21 inches. This is a semi circle cut on the fold with a smaller semi circle cut out for the opening (the opening is half of the waist measurement and about 2 inches deep at the center). All I need is a waistband, right? Well, yes, but it was more difficult for me than that. I will say that I didn't have to buy more fabric, the waistband fit perfectly, and I only cut once. It was a success! (Perhaps a little Divine Intervention in there?)

A quick serge around the waist to secure the waistband and it was good to go. I was rather proud of myself.

I was also asked to help next year. I think I will. I was very impressed with the whole thing and look forward to being a part of it.

Here's the whole ensemble in her class:Katy as the "Holy Spirit"

Take two, they're small.

2008-07-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

I dropped off my daughter this morning at dance camp and asked about the skirt I made for her. Is it the right fit? Is this like the others? Is it the right length? At that point, the teacher asked me, "You MADE that?" Yes. "Did you make it last night?" No. I made it this morning in about 20 minutes.

Now, this is just a circle panel skirt in a fabric that doesn't need to be hemmed. There is no seam. The only sewing was attaching a waistband. It took me longer to research and ask people about it than it did to just sit down and do it.

$9 worth of fabric. Retail - these skirts go for $32.

The director came in and asked me about doing seamstress work for her and some other people.

This is my blessing... my curse (as Monk would say) :o)

I seem to collect jobs. At any given time I have two or three of them at a time.

Because of my shiny object syndrome (SOS, if you'll remember), my interests are varied - as are my jobs.

Earlier in my blog posting I hinted to listing some of the jobs I've had. It's important to note that I've never been fired or asked to leave a job. My average time on a job is 2 years (or a little more). I started working when I was 15 and desperate for my own money.

My first job was working with ODU's Annual Giving Dept. This was basic stuff - filing, organizing, etc. Real "no brainer" activity. Closer to home, I decided to get a job at McDonalds. That lasted about 4 weeks before I broke my foot and could no longer work there. I had an "open toe" now and couldn't work with a cast for safety/health reasons. (A blessing in disguise, really.) I spent the rest of the summer doing cold-calls for Nationwide Insurance. BORING!

The next summer had me working as a hostess in a Japanese restaurant. Easy enough. I learned some basic Japanese, learned to tie an authentic obi and how to properly wear a kimono. I was even yelled at for wearing my hair down once. All of 17 and I had no idea that it meant I was "available". The Japanese businessmen were apparently interested. LOL A brief stint of modeling. It's really not as easy as it looks to sit and look vacant. :o)

I took my money and went cross-country to California. Wow. What a great time. One of many trips to the northern coast.

When I came back, I had another job lined up with ODU again in the Annual Giving/Development office. This is the office that does fundraising for the university and processes it. I was one of those processors (accounting assistants). I was so fast at data entry, we used to get calls from the computer department asking me to slow down because I was stacking commands so quickly that the mainframe was crashing. (I still type 160+ words a minute). That job came to an end when the governor (Wilder) started abolishing positions. My job had gone from Hourly to Classified and was now a "new position". All new positions were gotten rid of to save money. Thankfully, they put me in another. Unfortunately, it was one I hated with a passion - atheletics. This job lasted 6 months of me enduring sexual harrassment, verbal assaults - it was horrible. My supervisor was later fired (about 6 months after I left). I was the sixth assistant he had had in 2 years. Finally, someone took notice.

Okay, so after threats from Larry Leckonby that I'd never get another job on campus, I landed one with ODU Ballet (now non-existant but it was wonderful in its day and the only job I truly miss.) I was a theatre production assistant and did this for 2 years. I spent mornings working at a local talent agency organizing and afternoons and evenings at the ballet. It was great.

Then I found out I was pregnant and had no health insurance - neither did my husband so a friend of mine got me a job working at a nursing home as a computer specialist. Easy peazy. Slowly, I started doing less computer work and more patient care. Pregnancy took me out of the job and while on maternity leave, I was offered a job at my son's pediatrician's office as a medical technician. I did basic patient care three evenings a week.

Meanwhile, my trips to Botanical Gardens earned me a position as a paid docent. I spent mornings at the Gardens and evenings at the doc's office. I had a nanny for a brief time (an hour each day I worked) but then hubby changed his schedule so we just "tag team" parented. Mornings, I could either take him with me or my mother would watch him. Perfect.

Alas, Jake got sick... and he got sick because I brought home rotovirus. It was terrible. I put in my notice at work. I couldn't bear to think that I could bring him something worse.

Botanical Gardens worked out for about 4 years. I liked it but quickly grew tired of ill-mannered public schooled children. I went on my maternity leave early after having to break up a fist fight between kindergarteners and getting hit in the stomach while pregnant with my third child.

A friend called me with a job offer to work at Ritz Camera. I did this on and off for 6 years. I really liked working in the photo lab. Maybe it's the voyeur in me, I don't know. :o)

In between, I worked as a wine taster for Broudy Kantor (now National Distributing, I think.) and did a brief stint at J. L. Hammett (a teacher parent store) for the 30% off of books and supplies for homeschooling. They went out of business while I was on maternity leave with my second child and Broudy Kantor stopped having wine tastors after another company's employee drove home while intoxicated. (There's always someone who has to ruin a good thing for everyone else, huh?)

My same friend from Ritz eventually left them to work in the medical field. My invitation followed shortly. This time I worked at an urgent care. Much more exciting. Unfortunately, I seemed to catch everything that came in. My final straw was catching Croup (at age 32) while pregnant with my second child. It made the decision to resign easy.

Somewhere in all of this, I started a charity group (All Crafts 4 Charity) and this remains a passion of mine over a decade later.

I've left out a few here and there. There was the balloon selling job when I was a teenager (strolling the boardwalk selling balloons - it's trickier than you'd think!) The home health care I did for some of our area's wealthy seniors.

The thing is, I've never been without a job and I've never had to look for one. They always find me.

Now I have to think about what it is that brings them to me? Law of Attraction? My openness and willingness to help? I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I want to teach it to my children so they too will never have to go looking for a job. I think if you like what you do (even if it's many things) jobs will find you. People like to know you are confident in your work and like doing it.

The old question, "What color is your parachute?" would have to be rainbow colored. There are just too many facets.

Of course nowadays, I teach art locally as well as teaching cake decorating. As long as people have birthdays and get married, I've got a steady source of income. I like having my own money and not relying on hubby to give me an allowance. And while he assures me that he works so I don't have to work outside the home (and that my job as home educator and mother is the most important of both of our jobs), I still don't like being dependant on someone like that. I want my own spending money without having to ask for it.

I don't see a time when I'll ever not be working - not because I have to (truth is, my current job costs ME money) but because I want to do new things.

So when my friends ask me about my career path and choices, I have to tell them to sit down. "This will take a while." And when they are amazed at all I do, I remind them that most of these have been part-time with children and that's how I can do two jobs and still call myself a SAHM. I can work two small jobs as long as I make room for the big one - motherhood.

The park with caged animals

2008-07-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of a cute little title for the zoo post. Lots to talk about, though.

First, I've already made it clear that I don't particularly care for the zoo. More on that later, though.

My first hesitation came when we drove into the parking lot and I saw a fleet of buses. Ugh. Thankfully, they were lining the kids up to leave as we walked in. Huge buses of public school or day camp kids is never a good thing. The employees agree (see above), the other parents agree, and I'm sure you'll agree.

But that was quickly averted, as I said.

Connor was like a kid in a candy store. "MONTEES!" and "OSHIJ" for everyone. (Monkeys and ostriches if you didn't quite catch that toddlerese.)

A jaunt around the zoo takes a couple of hours. The children were thrilled and excited. I've never seen Connor so lively. I started to realize that even though I hate this little menagerie, I may have to visit more often just based on his enthusiasm alone.

First on the agenda were giraffes. Always a fascinating creature. Once thought to make no sound, we now know that their sound is just at too low of a frequency for us to hear. A three foot long prehensile tongue (look out, Gene Simmons) is pretty impressive too.

Next item up for bids? Elephants. This is where I start to get ticked off when I'm in a zoo. Elephants are social creatures matriarchaly run. That is to say, a female leads the herd. These herds are normally large and made up of many grandmothers to granddaughters. They are also social and intelligent animals. They need stimulation. A tire isn't going to cut it.

When I hear of stories of elephants on the rampage, I can often imagine how it would feel to have someone wanting something from you all day and offering little to know appreciation in return. We call it "Motherhood". They call it "performing" I know that I'd personally run around attacking people if I had no other outlet. Is it any wonder that these intelligent animals do this then?

So, I mentioned I dislike zoos. Hard as they may try, they just cannot replicate "the wild". While on display, the "habitat" looks wonderful. But when the tourists are gone, I suppose they stay here:

Still, it's not often you get to see a mandrill up close... pacing, looking for others... trying to establish dominance in a habitat about 1/16 (if that) of what he'd have in the wild.

Supposedly the ostriches and giraffes live together in the wild. I'm thinking not in quarters close enough that the ostrich would continually peck at the knees of the giraffes walking by. The giraffes, that in the 20 minutes or so that I watched, paced that confinement over half a dozen times - being pecked the whole time.

The lions seemed content enough. They were sleeping anyway. A couple stood next to me concerned that the lions could escape. My limited knowledge of their jumping and climbing ability told me they could easily but probably stayed because they were well fed... like any other house pet.

It's amazing to be that close to so many animals but I really could forgo it to know that they were in the wild where they belonged.

I'm okay with documentaries and nature specials if it means that these animals that we give human names and apply human attributes to could go back to being what they should be... wild.

Ain't no sunshine when they're gone...

2008-07-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

This last week has been a dead zone. No crafting (well, I did cast on for a toy elephant for Connor that goes with a Noah's Ark set by Alan Dart).

Honestly, I haven't done a lot of anything that didn't involve keeping vigil in front of the computer.

My two eldest boys are at camp. Blessing or curse, one of the teens in the troop has a laptop and keeps a running blog. The blessing is, I can see that everyone is still alive and there are no broken limbs. Curse is, I keep checking it every 15 minutes to make sure that everyone is still alive and there are no broken limbs.

All of this computer time has been a little productive. I've served a legal letter to a cybersquatting company for trying to take my domain name for my charity (All Crafts 4 Charity). While I own the Dot com, they have squatted my Dot org and I'm letting them know forcefully but politely, I want it back.

Connor has really bloomed into quite the talker while the boys have been gone... God help me. He doesn't stop. He's become fascinated with all animals and has pulled out almost every stuffed animal in the house to have elaborate plays, story times, and create impressive biomes in the living room.

I think the confusor (computer) and I need a break from each other today. In lieu of Connor's new found love of animals, we shall visit the zoo. Now, I'm not really one for caged animals in unnatural habitats but I do recognize the importance of having endangered animals in protective custody. Still, a jail's a jail. I'd much rather them be in a natural habitat and not cooped up all day... like me, keeping vigil in front of the computer.

Jane of all trades...

2008-07-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

and master of quite a few of those trades!

The weekend produced some cute bags that I made, the loot bags for Caleb's party, two cakes (a pirate ship and a treasure chest - No. No pictures of the cakes. I got over doing that about 200 cakes ago.)

No yo-yos although I may work on those this week.

My new shiny object is getting ready for the "upcoming school year". I'm organizing curriculum, tweaking, and re-organizing. I'm making preparations for Jake to go to have his first college experience. As I look for ideas, I'm reading my e-mail lists and a subject keeps coming up over and over again and it leaves me wondering, what is it about co-ops that have some people flocking to them?

Now, in theory a co-op is a marvelous idea. Especially if you are new to homeschooling or do so out of desperation of having no grasp on any academic subject. It really starts to surprise me when I see parents with older children in co-ops - especially teens, though.

I homeschool because I want freedom to be on my own schedule, to have control over my children's education (as opposed to public government run institutions telling me how much and when and what), I want a tailored education for my child, and did I mention that freedom of my own schedule? So I take them to a co-op where they decide the schedule, books, curriculum, and how much, when, and what my children learn? Nope, I don't get it.

Okay, from another angle, I find that these co-ops can help parents who are too left-brained or too-right brained with other subjects. Again, though, it's the whole fitting into someone else's schedule thing. Maybe I'm too anarchist. :o) Maybe I'm too anti-establishment. I still think that if I'm paying for a co-op teacher (This is another sticking point for me. I always thought co-ops should be moms and dads helping each other - not charging each other but maybe I'm better suited living in a commune). I'd be better off paying for a tutor to come on MY time and in MY environment on MY watch. At least THAT way, if I didn't like the teacher or approach, I can fire them. Not so easy with a co-op. You must sit and take it until it's done or lose your money.

Truth be told, there's not a lot I don't know how to do already (as you can tell from my blog) - and that includes finding qualified mentors for my children when needed. In short, we're a pretty educationally self-sufficient household. That may sound arrogant but it's far from that. As parents, we are WELL aware of our weaknesses but that's also another strength in my opinion.

Our familial interests are diverse and many and sometimes short-lived. (We all suffer from "shiny object syndrome" in this house from time to time.) Paying for long term co-op classes offers nothing sparkley to me. They also usually offer nothing I can't do myself and save the money, gas, and materials. (You should see my craft closets, shelves, garage, under the beds, book cases, etc. LOL)

And there's a whole world to explore to experience the things we want to learn instead of again being locked in a classroom to learn. (Isn't that part of why we homeschooled? To get away from that unnatural age-segregated confinement?)

Society often cites "It takes a village to raise a child." In actuality, though, this village mentality is usually used only when we selfishly WANT something (like childcare) for free. In a REAL village, we also wouldn't charge for knowledge. It would be an honor to pass it on to the next generation... just ask an American Indian. It would be a given that you teach your trade to others - pass on your knowledge - lest the knowledge die with you. In a REAL village, your thirteen year old son would be well on his way to being a man. The Elders would have taken him aside and shown him how to hunt, gather, and provide. He would be taught to make a home, hunt for and create a family.

In today's society, we infantilize our children until they're 18 and then expect them to know what it is to be a man or be a woman. Like that public school mentality, we expect to flip a switch and then voila! You're a man! Nice to know you. Have a good trip in life. What do you mean you don't know what to do now?!?

Well, they DON'T know what to do "now". No mentor or elder has taught them HOW to be a man or moreover, what it MEANS to be a man. (or woman)

Like that aforementioned public school mentality, we've been taught (notice how public school had this long lasting effect on us and our parenting too?) that "school ends" at 18. No more learning. Turn off that switch. You're done.

Realistically, we should be preparing our children for a LOVE of life-long learning and not that education is something you "finish" in a pre-determined time frame.

Mentors. Where do we find them? Well, hopefully the parents are the first stop. Second, find a Guild, a Scout Troop, Youth Group, Volunteer Group, Church Group, or apprenticeship that can help your child grow.

What they need at that age is to learn how to grow up too. In essence, I've seen the village and I don't want them anywhere near my children as a collective - they still clamor and grasp to retain those public school mentalities. Instead, I'll help my children pick and choose their mentors and help them learn how to surround themselves with people who challenge them to grow and nurture their love of learning... on THEIR time table.

Have sense of humor. Will travel.

2008-07-10T10:58:00.001-07:00

Today is a silly day, I'm happy to say. I'm trying to use up my fabric stash on making "Green Bags" for the grocery store. The "Green Bag Lady" has a free pattern or you can join my charity group "All Crafts 4 Charity" and download the pattern in the sewing files area.

As I was rethreading my serger (which is a Macgyver contraption if there ever was one), I was thinking of things to do this weekend - craft-wise.

I need to make some "loot bags" for Caleb's birthday party on Sunday. I also need to make the cakes. Those are the easy things.

Craft-wise, I think I'm not sure what I'm going to work on. I'm thinking about creating a yo-yo bonnet pattern for my charity list. I have a 4-H meeting next week and I think I shall teach them to make yo-yos and do some basic hand sewing. Four yo-yos can be a coaster. Maybe we'll turn bandanas into cool ties. (Yes, I like that idea.)

These are yo-yos:

These are yo-yos too :o)

Today's theme, as I said, has been a silly one. You see, I like to assign themes for the day. The weirder and odder a theme is, the better. I've done this for years. Mostly, the themes are assignments for my husband to do at work but we also participate in the fun.

Some themes have included:

Talk like a pirate
Stand at your desk all day
Make every movement have a noise day (like making oral sounds when you write)
Hum day (hum as you speak, ie. HmmmI ummmmmlike hmmmthe way mmmm you hummmm.)
Laugh hysterically when someone asks you to do something day
Use "motivational speak" day ("What I sense from you is that you're asking me if this will work. Am I understanding you?")
Inside out clothing day
Answer with a song lyric/title day
Eat enthusiastically loud day ("OMG, this is GOOD! MMMMMmmm! OHHHHH!!!")
Look at people like they're crazy and you're afraid when they speak to you day
Animal Colloquial day
No lights at work day (and you have to cringe or be melodramatic when someone mistakenly turns them on)
Talk irritatingly loud day
Talk irritatingly quiet day
Opera day (everything has to be sung)
"In my OLD job" day (You can probably figure this out)
Egocentric day ("Yes, but how do *I* fit into all of this?" kind of statements)
Surfer day
Religious sayings day ("You know, the Dalai Lama says...")
Lose an imaginary item day

My husband only has two people in his office and they are well aware of the themes for the day. Sometimes, I call THEM and have THEM do the theme and hubby has to figure them out. They've come to look forward to them and it's a pleasant diversion from normal and mundane work.

Think THAT'S funny? I'm just getting started. My favorite game that I invented is "What's my theme song?" This is one of my favorite games. As an ardent fan of Pop Culture, I'm quite good at this one. My large mental library of music insures that I never lose at this game. This is a game that requires good observation skills, people watching, extensive music knowledge, and a quick wit.

To play, you sit in a place where there are TONS of people. The first time I played, I was by myself waiting for my husband to pick me up and I needed to entertain myself. Okay, honestly, I was sitting outside of traffic court having just had a traffic ticket dismissed (stupid, worthless inspection stickers!). This environment was WONDERFUL for people watching of all kinds of characters! I saw political figures, homeless, and every day Joes and Janes. A shopping mall would work well too. The boardwalk here in Virginia Beach is another great spot. You know your area and where the great "people watching" spots are.

The game is to come up with a song for each person that walks by.

Courthouse steps? Easy! Mad women walking by yelling at their partners, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". Sheriffs walking by - "I fought the law and the law won." The "COPS theme" by Inner Circle. Country songs were just a natural fit. Songs of heartbreak. Songs of fury. But sometimes just their personalities or eccentricities sparked a funny song. The well-endowed woman (solicitation charges, maybe?) in tight satin hot pants and tube top, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts."

By the time hubby came to pick me up, I was cracking myself up. "Sometimes I just think funny thoughts." (Arthur) I'm sure that somewhere, others that knew of the game were thinking songs about ME, too. "Now she sucks her thumb and wanders by the banks of her own lagoon."

Okay, so there are TWO games you can now play without even rolling dice!

Mindless fun

2008-07-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

It is no secret in my house that I don't care for video games. Huge time sucks, in my not so humble opinion.

However, I do recognize that people like them - even my children. So, here are some that I can "tolerate" that my children play:

Portal is one that I can tolerate. It does require logical thinking. No first person shootings, carjackings, or pimps. It's a maze game. Don't let that fool you, though. This game is also on the verge of being anti-government. It's messages are clear. GlaDOS wants you to finish your "test". When you do, there'll be cake.

Little by little, you see messages on the wall, "The cake is a lie." and you realize this game is something more sinister.

It's not often that a video game spurs such a creative following but even the likes of one of our personal favorites, Jonathon Coulton, had his talents enlisted to write the theme song for this game.

As an aside, it is my personal goal to have JoCo (as he's known to his fans) play here. He's a great guy (as well as talented) and even helped Jake earn his Communications merit badge. His songs are so creative - so fun. Think "Weird Al Yankovich" meets "Yanni". Many of his songs remind me of School House Rock but for adults. And speaking of the "adult" aspect. Be sure to preview his songs first. While 95% are fine for the whole family. There are that 5% that may make you cringe.

Where else can you hear a song about a half-pony/half-monkey monster? (Hapomomo as JoCo calls it.) Or zombie office politics? The creative mind behind this is enticingly sick and welcoming. It fits quite well with my odd sense of humor. Take a moment, enjoy the following:

("Well technically, I am." That's just hilarious!)

I just love him. "I Feel Fantastic" is a poke in the eye to the pharmaceutical companies who promote "Better Life Through Chemistry". And there's not a mother in the world who wouldn't fall in love with the song, "Stroller Town". I smile just thinking about it.

Taking a step away from JoCo, even the toddlers have sites. Kneebouncers is a fun site for babies and toddlers to play and press keys to find out the cause and effect.

If you want something tame, beautiful, and even poetic, Orisinal:Morning Sunshine is the site for you.

The thing is, there's a whole world outside. Go outside and play! I don't want to see you until the streetlights come on.

The Education of Mommy

2008-07-07T08:48:00.001-07:00

I don't want to be "Mommy" today. My children are irritating me, the animals (not the human ones) are being needy, and I'm generally in an anti-social mood.

Appropriately enough, my eldest son is playing Pink Floyd's, "Welcome to the Machine". It's that kind of day today.

Erma Bombeck once wrote, "If you want to get your children's attention, sit down, look comfortable, and pick up the phone."

Every time I take a breath, I have another child wanting something (this time it's the baby wanting me to put a diaper on Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House. Apparently he has bladder control issues of which I was unaware.)

Today is a day I'd rather be alone but truth be told, as soon as the children left, I know I'd be wondering what they were doing and eventually missing them.

With that said, I'm working today to plan a little camping bash in November. I have affectionately named it "Camp Granola" and have invited some pretty groovy people that I like to come along with their families. I'll be researching crafts, games, menus, and camping ideas for the kids (bored kids are miserable kids) but also know that they'll need the same thing we do as adults: time to unwind. Keeping that in mind, I'll make sure they have "nothing to do" time too.

My hopes are that this little retreat will be a way to rejuvenate the soul, connect with nature, unplug from modern stress, and get back to the roots of talking with people - no offense to the electronic communications world.

Tom Brown comes to mind in this quest for knowledge. I have many of his books detailing living off of the land. Tom Brown's book of survivalism/tracking for children is a boy's (or adventurous girl's) dream come true. Lots of practical advice. It goes beyond what they'd learn in scouts to present life-applicable knowledge in even minor emergency situations.

Kamana is another great resource for teaching nature to children. These courses go beyond field guides and camping to really understanding nature around us and learning to read the signs of animals to find food, water, shelter, or even anticipate weather changes. It was through them that I first learned of North vs. True North. (Nope. You're gonna' hafta' look it up. I'm not doing your work for you.) Kamana also teaches a spiritualism worthy of any student of Zen. I was immediately intrigued and impressed with the Thanksgiving Day Prayer in its pages.

This spirituality isn't so much about worshipping the world around you but worshipping how great the place you have in the world is. Your harmony with nature. Your place in the great plan of life.

The other thing I enjoyed about Kamana was creating a "sit spot". This program that teaches you to enjoy nature to the last detail by experiencing the same spot through the seasons. At first, this may sound boring but I assure you, you learn to find wonder and magic in the little things around you.

It's funny because I never thought I'd know as much as I do about nature, living off the land, or any of that until I had boys. Even now, I'm confident that should they ever get lost in the woods, they'd be fine.

I think about the first time that Jake read "Hatchet" . He hated it. Not because it was poorly written. On the contrary, it's a wonderful book. Jake was furious that this boy could be so well... to put it in Jake's words, "Stupid about the world around him." And it's true. The main character of the book is woefully ignorant of the world around him. He lacks basic common sense in most areas. Jake had no patience for him.

It reminded me of a movie I saw when I was younger called, "The Earthling" starring Ricky Shroeder who was maybe 10 at the time. His parents are killed when they are camping when the RV (that's camping?) goes off of a cliff. Ricky survives only to meet up with a "Mountain Man" who doesn't want to give him the time of day. Little by little, the mountain man takes him under his wing not to rescue him but to teach him how to survive. I wish they'd put it on DVD. I think my boys would really enjoy it.

I think I shall introduce him to the book, "The Mosquito Coast". This book always struck me as the ultimate in teaching irony or hypocracy. To escape one's life only to recreate it elsewhere.

I'm looking foward to our "Camp Granola". Once I get plans solidified, I'll share how I went about creating this camp.

Perhaps I should listen to the teachers from Kamana who teach that what you need when you're at your worst is to go outside and reconnect with nature. Disharmony become harmonious. Disconnect becomes connectivity. Cacophony becomes symphony.

2 trips to the country in one weekend...

2008-07-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

For a city girl that doesn't *do* country, I've been spending a lot of time there lately.

Saturday, we decided to take a road trip to Kerr Dam in Buggs Island. The drive was very pretty, hubby at the helm, children in the back, cooler packed with fruit and cheese. Our intent was to spend the afternoon at the Dam, check out the sights, and have a nice picnic while the children swam.

Mother Nature had other plans, however, and our dam experience turned into a damned experience.

The sky opened up and it rained so hard that you couldn't see across the water.

Then the lightening commenced. I love thunderstorms. I love the sounds, the lightening, everything about them. I was quite impressed. Not the day I was hoping for but still fun to watch.

We sat in a parking lot - us and two other cars, and my parents drove up beside us. My children were thrilled. We sat and chatted through cracked windows as we waited for the rain to subside. It never did. My father informed me that I wasn't allowed to pick his next vacation spot. :o)

Highlight - driving across the dam itself. VERY impressive. We will definitely be going back to camp. Low points? Of course the rain. The rain also made driving BACK across the dam a little more anxiety ridden (another part of agoraphobia is a fear of driving over bridges, I might add.)

Regardless, it was a nice day. We stopped at a mom & pop guitar shop to get Jake some strings for the traveling guitar. We watched parents let their children run in the torrential rain during the lightening storm and had a homeschooling lesson on Darwin.

It's about a 2.5 hour drive from our house to get there but it's definitely worth the drive. The destination as well as the journey is lovely. We'll definitely be back. I can see this being a fantastic scout camping experience. Maybe even a friend and family campout.

Today I went to Wakefield to hear a minister speak that may be preaching at our church. This church (more like a chapel) was TINY. There were 10 people there - two of them were myself and my traveling companion for the day. It was very rustic but quaint. There was a man who sang hymns as "special music" and gave a wonderful bluegrass rendition of an old hymn. He was great. If you like bluegrass and that sound, you'd have loved this guy. I couldn't help but smile as he sang. It was something out of "Oh, Brother Where Art Thou?". Just charming.

Again with the open acres of land and houses miles apart, though.

One has to wonder, what do these people do for entertainment? Is there something to be said for quiet entertainment? Do we really NEED to be sensually occupied all of the time?

It got me ta' thinkin', though. A day of absolute silence and solitude. I will endeavor to experience that before the year is done.

Book Arts Bash! Pencils Ready? Go!

2008-07-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

The Book Arts Bash contest is now live and happnin' !

From their site:

The Book Arts Bash is a brand new writing contest for homeschoolers, unschoolers, upschoolers, and outschoolers! Our goal is to have fun writing and illustrating, and to stretch book arts across the curriculum.

The deadline is October 1, so get scribbling! Explore 20 categories, and enter as many as you like! There are five age groups, from kindergarten kids to homeschooling moms and dads. Are you into it? Fill out our interest survey and let us know what you think.

My children are VERY excited about this contest!

I just have one question. What is an outschooler? :o)

It sparkled so I picked it up...

2008-07-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

And made little soot sprites!

These adorable creatures are from the movie, "My Neighbor Tortoro". Such cute little things.

You can see them trying to be brave enough to come out of the fireplace behind them.

Those jugs? Well, they're earnestly beaten up. These are jugs/jars from the 19th century Civil War Era. One of them is 18th century Revolutionary War Era.

I have to make sure that the sprites don't breed in the jugs. The jars are very delicate and they might break if there's too much activity going on in and around them.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck

2008-07-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

I eluded before to the fact that I have horrible woodworking skills. This is pride/ego crushing to me on several levels but extremely humorous to others when I share the stories.

I think it's mostly funny to other people because I am blessed to have the gift of being able to learn how to do most anything and do it very well. Before this sounds too pompous, I recognize this as a gift. I know how fortunate I am to be able to do these things.

With that said, every now and then, God finds it funny to watch me "fall". (Pride goeth before destruction.)

So is the case with my woodworking skills. I'm not sure why I can't get this skill down pat. Maybe because it works in absolutes which makes it "not art" in my personal book. Art needs to have space to have "happy accidents". Alas, a happy accident in woodworking may mean your house falls down.

It is with great apprehention that I attempt the Little Great Wheel. But I really want to do this and I would love a spinning wheel and this just seems the time. You have to understand my trepidation, however.

My first attempt at woodworking came about 15 years ago when I wanted to make a drum box thingy. (It's called a "tongue drum".) I saw it at The Heritage store and I was convinced that I could make this. I believe it was something like $200 for this drum (which, imo at the time, little more than a box with lines sawed into it that you hit with a mallet.) Boy, was I wrong.

I measured the box sides and top and bottom and I was ready to recreate this at home. This is the part that if you have woodworking experience, you start to chuckle immediately because I measured all the pieces at once on the same piece of wood. Tic marks straight down the wood. Those of you that are equally wood-impaired won't understand this until I explain to you that each time you cut a piece of wood, you're actually shortening it (because you're sawing through it and making it shorter). Only the first piece was the size it was supposed to be. The subsequent pieces lost length up to a 1/2 inch because I didn't remeasure the piece. That's HUGE in woodworking terms.

Hence the term, "Measure twice. Cut once."

My second attempt was actually a decade later (that's how hard I took it.) I went to Boy Scout Leader Training (called "Wood Badge") and our community service project was to make bird houses. My heart sank. Surely they needed someone to sew a sleeping bag or cook over the fire? Possibly, I was able to crochet a hammock? Weave first aid bandages? Nope. Birdhouse it was.

We were given pre-cut pieces of wood. I felt a little better. But then there were the directions. Written like stereo instructions. I stared at the picture diagrams. I watched the guys around me start right in. I just laughed. You see, out of 100 or so people, there were only half a dozen females at this training. We already felt we needed to prove something. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to prove myself with the creation of a birdhouse.

I look up again and half the guys are on their second bird house. I'm working on putting two pieces together at a right angle on my FIRST one. Devastation. Humiliation. And apparently woodworking retardation.

I did finally manage to put mine together. Everyone else had built around six during the time it took me to make one. But I did it. The most fun for me was painting them afterward. I rocked at that part. :o)

Now, if you ever get a chance to go to Pipsico Scout Reservation in SW Virginia, you'll see little gray birdhouses everywhere. If you look for the one with the "condemned" sign on it, that'll be mine. I imagine the male bird to be in a wife-beater shirt, the female will have her hair in curlers and wearing a house dress at 3 in the afternoon. The children birds will all be filthy and have no birdie shoes. They'll all be sitting on the porch-perch discussing moving up in the world - to the local bird trailer park.

Basket Case

2008-07-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

I learned something remarkable when I wasn't cursing out this *@&$ basket.

Sometimes, you have to go with the flow and trust yourself. In other words, you can't over think art and expect it to happen.

So there I was.... 11 o'clock at night and I'm determined to get this basket done. I re-read the directions (because I'm a HUGE fan of RTFM). I stare at the pictures. I put my basket in the same positions as the pictures. I put my hands in the same positions as the pictures. Nothing sparks.

I ask hubby to read it aloud. All it does is irritate me because now I can't concentrate with him talking. (She says, chuckling) Too much input.

Finally, I just let go. I'm going to trust my hands to know what to do. I'm not going to over think this. I'm not going to beat this to death. I'm going to eat this elephant one bite at a time.

And through some kind of channeled basket-making zen, I completed the basket.

Of course, I find a million places it should have been better or straighter or tighter or whatever but that's okay. It's my basket. It's my first plaited basket. Now, I must seek out strange new lifeforms - go where no other basket maker has gone before. I'm thinking about my irises and using those leaves. I'm wondering if willow will work. Corn husks? What's in the "jungle" (the untamed area along my back fence). What can I find there that will work?

I think ahead to the holidays and how everyone will be getting a basket filled with some other project I undertake. Yeah, right. I'll make three or four and satisfied that I can do this with ease, I'll find something else shiny. I just know it.

Btw, the photo is courtesy of my eldest son, Jake. The lilies are from "The Jungle".

Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue...

2008-07-02T17:54:00.001-07:00

I had an absolutely wonderful day today.

Have a seat while I reminisce. Pinot Grigio? Merlot? Cab Sav? Make yourself comfy.

I have to admit that my day started last night in the form of anxiety attacks at the thought of my upcoming day. I don't usually do long drives and definitely not without my husband but we had an invite from a friend to go to (what I would call) "rural" North Carolina for a kid's play date.

The thought of me driving to North Carolina by myself (No, my children don't count in this. I mean grown-up people who can take the wheel or resuscitate me should something happen.) made my extremities turn cold. Yes, I'm serious. If you promise not to tell anyone , I'll let you in on a secret. I have agoraphobia but not the "I can't go out of my house" kind. I have the fear of wide open spaces. Rolling fields of nothing are suffocating to me. I recently watched a Western called "Prairie Fever" where one of the women complained that the "Sky was too big and it was going to crush her." I knew immediately what she meant. I was a wreck when I drove through Kansas and Nebraska in my younger days.

Lack of strip malls, as silly as it may sound, starts to concern me. I have a standing joke that I don't want to live anywhere that there's not a Pier 1, Taco Bell, or 7-11. The holy trinity of suburbia. ;o)

But, I want to conquer this silly fear so I accepted. I really, really wanted to go. I really like the chick who invited me. I really like the others that were also invited. I thought this was a wonderful chance for my children to have some quality time with like-minded kids while I had quality time with like-minded adults.

With Juanita programmed (my GPS), AAA card in my wallet, cell phone charged, cooler packed, extra clothes, car gassed up, hubby called to know where I was, I was ready for my 2 hour play date. WHAT!?!?! This was a big step for me!

The drive was familiar for the most part. It was only the last 15 miles that were unknown to me so that helped a lot. Bob.fm having an 80s block party helped too. There's something about INXS singing me through my anxiety to make everything alright again.

Past downtown Norfolk, past P-town, into Suffolk... those fields started cropping up. I concentrated on the road and the cars around me. 10 miles feels a lot longer when there's only corn to ogle. Little by little the houses became farther and farther apart. I wondered, "Do they even SPEAK to their neighbors?" My mind continues to wander. "What happens if they run out of milk in the middle of the night?" "Is there a Taco Bell out here?" I laughed out loud to my own joke. The roads get smaller and smaller. You have to veer over if another one is coming this way. "I wonder how many people end up in these ditches?" Of course at that time I spot the makeshift memorial on the side of the road. Apparently a few.

Someone in the van is asking about bananas and I snap back to what I should be thinking about... driving. "They're in the bag behind my seat." I answer.

Juanita is now hopelessly lost. She's giving me the checkered flag that we've arrived and she's joyously exclaiming, "Destination ahead on right" but it's a lie. I remind myself not to trust her implicitly anymore. North Carolina state line. I've done it! I'm almost there! I've driven to a whole other state without my husband in the car! I'm looking at mailbox numbers to see the address and EUREKA! There it is!

It was a great day. The children created artwork, played with can after can of shaving cream, science experiments, slip-n-slides, and there I was... having great conversations with the moms. Moms I often chit-chat with but never get to really know. I felt relieved and happy and welcome.

On the way home the children chimed in about how much they liked being in the country. "Could we move to the country?" they excitedly asked. Jake answers immediately, "NO!" He'd miss the guitar stores, I'm sure. Katy and Caleb, though, they were right at home with the farm animals, the rolling fields (remarking how they were all planted in such straight lines and how'd they do that?). Me? I now know the way to my friend's house and so I'm comfortable with the drive... and the company was enough to entise me back many more times.

While I don't see myself moving to the country, I think I'm finally okay with the visit.

Oooohhhh! Shiny!

2008-06-28T13:28:00.001-07:00

Guess what's new and shiny today?

I found online plans for a spinning wheel. I'm much too much jealous of my friend Colyn and hers.

While I'd love to have a "Joy" spinning wheel - $500 isn't easy to come by to purchase an item that I merely covet so... next best thing. I'll do it myself! (Said in my best toddler impersonation)

A month ago I got a beautiful Angora rabbit. My hopes are that I can spin her lovely wool with some lamb's wool. Appropriately, I named my bunny "Mitten". :o)

In the meantime, I've spent the last few hours cutting out the strips for the plaited basket and trying to assemble it.

Those who know me know that spacial perception is not my strong suit. This basket is proving it. I have half a mind to put up a photo of it in its current state just for giggles but somewhere in there my pride just won't let me do it. LOL I think if I had better step by step instructions rather than an ad laden 3 page article that I'm trying to decipher, I'd have gotten farther by now. Maybe not. If Katy puts hers together before me, I'll know it was me and not the directions.

Remember the old saying that when you went "loopy" you studied basket weaving? I'm thinking that basket weaving may MAKE you go loopy.

Basketweaving - maybe not my forte. We shall see.

Woodworking - not even close to being my forte but more on that later.

Memoirs of me

2008-06-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

My buddy Shez sent me a game. This one has proven to be very difficult, however. You see, I have spent the last few years letting people define who I am. Sometimes this has been very painful for me when I come to the realization of what they are trying to make me. Sometimes it's funny when I think of what they view me as. (Giving me much too much credit, I think.) Sometimes it's out of laziness that I don't correct them - sometimes apathy.

It's been a very long time since I've just sat down and thought, "Self?" and answered, "Huh? What? Oh, yes? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." "Who ARE you?" "Well, um, I'm Alan's wife, I guess. The McCoy children's mother. Um yeah. That's me." "No - who are YOU?"

And that's the rub. When we become a wife - do we take on that title? Who am I? I am wife. When we become a mother is it the same? Who am I? I am Mother. But no. I'm those things but that's not who I am. Somehow we seem to give up our identity when as we change from life phase to life phase.

Those who know me also will attest to the fact that the Maiden Aspect (of maid, mother, and crone) is not something I have a desire to leave. I think that's why I like teaching children. I get to play. I get to joke and have fun. I get to teach important things like making straws into slide whistles. ;o)

I have read articles about Americans' fascination with labeling things and that at social gatherings after asking someone's name, our first question is "What do you do?" because we define people according to their occupation. I think that's why there's always such a pause when people say, "Oh, I don't work." We have to re-organize that filing system in our brain quickly to move on to the next question. (As I write this, it has not gone unnoticed that there's a section on my blog editor that says, "Labels for this post". How ironic.)

I think it's most difficult for us to label ourselves. Maybe pretentious people can do that. Maybe people who have prestigious jobs (according to societal norms) don't have a problem with that. It's easy to say, "Oh, I'm a doctor." "Oh, I'm a Nobel Prize Candidate." "Oh, I'm a Teacher." with no apologies or explanations. But ask a SAHM what she does you'll usually get an answer like, "Oh, I'm a stay at home mom but I USED to be a ..." Being comfortable in what YOU want to be or do and still fit into the "norms" of society is hard.

So when Shez sent me the task of a 6 word memoir I was stumped. I immediately thought of The Breakfast Club. "Who am I? WHO am I? Who AM I?" I just didn't know if I could answer that.

Then it dawned on me. The six words. Perfection. Simple - odd - funny. Just like me.

So my 6 word memoir?

"There's a joke in there somewhere."

I think this really reflects on my personal ability to find humor where there is none and I'll be the first to admit I have a strange affection for gallows humor and dark comedy. While people ranted and raved about the horrible (imo) movie, "Dances with Wolves", (Really, people. You LIKED that movie? You do know that American Indians rolled their eyes at this one, right? Once again the White Man is the only salvation??? Don't think that's flattering to other cultures.) my favorite part was where his driver came upon the skeleton and remarked, "Somebody back home wondrin' why he don't write." I was driven to guffaws.

One-liners are my favorite. "I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, 'I drank what?' " They just don't get funnier than that.

"Buzzards gotta' eat same as worms." What a wonderfully simplistic dark humored statement.

Perhaps it's my need to look for a bright side, a way to lighten the emotional load, maybe even a little dash of shadenfraude.

But yes, that would be my six word memoir.

Wanna' play along?

The rules are as follow:

# Write a six-word memoir.

# Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.

# Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogsphere.

# Tag 5 more blogs with links

# Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

Polished off and shining

2008-06-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

Some really cool homeschool moms are starting a "Book Arts Bash" for homeschoolers and their families. It sounds phenomenal and I'm very excited for my children because they love to write. I'll make an announcement when it's live but right now, I'm letting them decide that. I'm not licking the red off of anyone else's candy, let me tell you.

I'm pondering sending in a couple of poems of mine. This one I actually wrote a few years ago for a friend whose son had died. They read it at the eulogy. Later, my husband's grandmother died and they asked if they could read it there too. One would think that only having their poems read at funerals would be kind of depressing but I was actually flattered that it provided that much comfort to people.

Anyway, believe it or not, this poem came to me in a dream. Now, I'm one of the most Amazing Randi type people you'll ever meet so when I have these "spiritual awakenings", I take notice.

So, you get to have a first glance before I submit it.

I Am Here

You will not have to look for me
I will be in the warmth of the sun on your skin
I will be in the cool dew of the evening on your feet
I will be in the stillness of the air or the torrent of the wind

You will not have to call for me
I will be in the sound of the meadow
I will be in the song of the nightingale
I will be in crash of the ocean and the whisper of the wind

You will not have to long for me
I will be with you in the smell of a rain soaked morning
I will be with you as the fragrance of a ripened orchard
I will be with you as a breath from the sea and the smell
of a storm on the wind

You will not be without me

- Shelley McCoy ©2003

I have another that I want to submit that, yes, also came to me in a dream. This one actually woke me up so I had to find a pen and paper at 4 in the morning so I wouldn't forget it. I really like this one. It's about empowering our daughters to not have to wait for a man to "rescue" them.

It took less than 3 minutes to write down. (Let's hope the judges don't say that. LOL "This sounds like something someone wrote in 3 minutes. Where's the trashcan?") But it was almost as if I was channeling it. Automatic writing. Yes, that's what it's called. :o)

Again, I'm an Amazing Randi type of gal but one has to wonder sometimes - from whence comes inspiration?

So go ahead, I'm putting on my earplugs. Whaddya' think? I can take it. Fire away. :o)

Now it's rusty...

2008-06-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

As opposed to shiny. :)

Here are those blasted socks. These are made using Moda Dea Sassy Stripes yarn and five size 5 (US) needles. Any DK weight yarn would work though (# 3 weight yarn)

Toddler Sock Pattern

Ribbing and Leg:

Cast on 32 stitches. Join in a ring being careful not to twist. Mark join as the beginning of the round and center of heel. Divide stitches over 4 needles. Begin ribbing pattern of k2, p2 and knit circularly for approximately 5 inches. Knit one round even. Divide across needles. (8, 8, 8, 8). Beginning with Needle 1 and selected motif, knit leg stitches until desired leg height is reached.

Begin Heel:

NOTE: Heel is worked in rows on 16 stitches.

Heel Pattern:
Row 1 *Slip 1, k1 repeat across from *
Row 2 Slip 1, purl across

Knit in heel pattern until you have 16 heel flap rows. Heel flap shape should be close to square. End with a purl row.

Turn Heel as follows:

Row 1: Sl 1, K9 sts, K2 tog, K1 turn
Row 2: Sl 1, P5 sts, P2 tog, P1, turn
Row 3: Sl 1, K6, K2 tog, K1, turn
Row 4: Sl 1, P7, P2 tog, P1, turn
Row 5: Sl 1, K7, K2 tog, K1, turn
Row 6: Sl 1, P8, P2 tog, P1, turn
Row 7: Sl 1 K8, k2 tog, K1 turn
Row 8: Sl 1 P9, P2 tog, P1 turn

Gusset:

Knit to the center of the heel. Using a spare needle, knit across the remaining heel stitches. Pick up and knit 8 stitches from the side of the heel flap and knit one stitch in the gusset corner (Needle 1). Knit in pattern across needles 2 and 3. With needle 4 pick up and knit one stitch in the gusset corner and then pick up and knit 8 stitches from the side of the heel flap. Knit the remaining heel stitches.

Stitch count is (14, 8, 8, 14) respectively.

Gusset Decrease and Sock Foot:

Rnd 1:
Needle 1: Knit until the last 3 stitches, k2 tog, k1.
Needle 2 and 3: Work in pattern around.
Needle 4: K1, SSK, knit around.

Rnd 2: Work in pattern around.

Repeat these 2 rounds until total stitches equal 32. Transfer stitches as necessary so that you have returned to your original stitch placement. (8, 8, 8, 8).

Sock Foot:

Continue knitting in stockinette on needles 1 and 4 and in pattern on needle 2 and 3 until you are approximately 1 1/2 to 2 inches from the top of your longest toe.

Shape Toe:

Rnd 1:
Needle 1: Knit until the last 3 sts, K2 tog, K1
Needle 2: K1, SSK, knit around.
Needle 3: Knit until the last 3 stitches, K2 tog, K1
Needle 4: K1, SSK, knit around.
Rnd 2: Knit around

Continue in this manner until you have approximately 8 stitches remaining or until sock has your desired toe shape. Using a kitchener stitch, bind the last 8 stitches off the needles.

What I didn't like about the sock is the thickness of the gusset. I'm starting a new pair now with a shaped foot (arch), short-row narrow heel, but still in the Moda Dea Sassy Stripes yarn. I'm hoping for a better fit.

I opted for a 5 inch ribbing so that it could have the "slouch" look. :)

Anyway, Connor loves to put on his crocs because he can do it by himself so I think these socks will keep his toes toasty in our moderate Winter.

Found something shiny last night...

2008-06-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

The world of GANSEYS! So you think you know sweaters?

I've long heard the story of sweaters having particular patterns, initials, and yarn colors to identify sailors or other watermen should they go missing and turn up drowned. It's a very sad story but quite brilliant if you think about it.

Ganseys are a Zimmerman dream come true.

Now, to find a great pattern. I think I shall start at the library and design one for my Irish hubby.

I like to start small, though, so I found a pattern for gansey socks. Believe it or not, socks are more my speed. I say believe it or not because well, I'm still not finished with that baby sock. I know. I know. It's just a baby sock. And I'm at the easy part even. I just had to put it on hold to clean the living room or we risked bringing dust bunnies to life.

With the children's help, though, it'll be done quickly and we can knit knit knit!

Hey, wanna' learn to knit socks? This is the best tutorial I've found.

Socks 101

That's how I learned. Well, that and my left-handed friend who learned from a right-handed German woman who knit continental. Talk about a trip!

The Deva Made Me Do It

2008-06-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

This is a fun thing from my buddy Deva's site. It's a fun game. I had a blast looking up things.

So here's the game:

Go to flickr and answer the following questions... you know what? Go to Deva's site and get the directions. Then you can see her beautiful mosaic too!

This is my mosaic based on the questions.

These are the questions, from the upper left:

What is your first name? Well, it's Shelley but I prefer to be called "Shell". I thought this was an amazing shell picture.

What is your favorite food? Sushi. MMMMMMMMMMmmmmm!!!!

What high school did you attend? Kempsville I'm a local. :o)

What is your favorite color? Black

Who is your celebrity crush? Antonio Banderas, DUH!

Favorite drink? Lemonade... that cool refreshing drink. If we're talking alcoholic than it's a vodka and tonic with a twist of lime - BELVEDERE vodka, if you don't mind.

Dream vacation? Anyplace tropical but I'm partial to Bermuda.

What is your favorite dessert? KEY LIME PIE!!!!

What do you want to be when you grow up? Assuming I ever grow up I think I'll stay an artist.

What do you love most in life? My hubby and children - this gorgeous shot came up when I typed in Alan's name, though.

One word to describe you. Bohemian.

Your flickr name - Princess Kadoodle. My beloved girl scouts gave me that name. :o) No picture comes up for that, though, so I just used "Princess" and loved the softness of that shot.

Eek - WHAT'S for dinner?

2008-06-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a planner. I like to plan things - trips, schooling, menus.

I usually do my menu planning a month in advance. Before you roll your eyes, let me tell you why. I am usually so busy that I don't have time to plan daily for dinner. "What's so hard about planning dinner?" you ask? There are six of us and all with varying tastes.

So, the monthly menu plan came into play.

Strange things started happening when I did the monthly planning. I was able to really think about what was on the plate - nutritionally speaking, I mean. I also started saving a LOT of money. Leftovers were creatively considered in the next meal's planning. Turkey sandwiches on one night were turkey a la king on another.

It stopped the fast food giants from preying on my family too. I knew what was in the fridge or freezer at any moment. No need to swing by to get something "real quick" because I knew what "real quick" stuff was already in the fridge.

Sadly, for the last three months, I haven't done a menu. Part of this was due to a serious GI illness that I had for about two months. They only just now figured out that I probably had a severe case of salmonella... from yep, you guessed it, tomatoes. Doctor's visits, lab tests, etc. couldn't find anything. That's why it's the "art" of medicine and not the "science".

So um, yeah... menus. I'm trying to figure out what to have tonight. My buddy Deva had a SCRUMPTIOUS looking avocado picture on her blog. MMmmmm. That got my mind going. We don't eat a lot of cooked food in the summer. Raw hamburger... I'M KIDDING! I mean we eat more fruits, veggies, and cold things in the summer. Hubby likes a lot of things that I won't eat because they have a texture thing going on that doesn't play nicely with my palate. (Couscous, tabouli, etc.) Tabouli? I mean c'mon. It's like course sand with parsley. What a tragic waste of tomatoes! What am I missing, people?

Gazpacho is another of his favorites. I often ask him why not just pour a bottle of salsa in a bowl and grab a spoon. Another shudder. (Not that I don't like salsa, mind you. I do. Just not in a bowl with a spoon.)

Hubby and I were veggie heads for years and slowly started eating meat again when I got pregnant with my first child and it was "mandated". You see, I don't like a lot of protein substitutes - tofu (again, that consistency thing), garbanzo beans, those kinds of things. I was between a rock and a hard place with an H/H that was near nothing. (Meaning my iron was low even for an anemic person).

I still cook a LOT of veggie only meals and the children love them. I find that meat is more of a convenience because I already know meals that I can center around them.

I don't think I'd ever give up seafood, though. Red meat I can live without. I'm not real zealous about turkey either. I *do* like chicken. That one was always hard on me. But living without tuna fish just isn't going to happen in my house. :o) Neither is giving up sushi. The final thing I put my foot down about is cheese. I'd give up chocolate before cheese, I'm telling you. I bet some serious contemplation would reveal some kind of vitamin deficiency that I have that makes me crave it so much. I just love the taste of all of them. Makes my mouth water just thinking of Canadian Cheddar or Spanish Port Wine Cheese. Yes, I'm a bit of a cheese snob, in all honesty.

So for tonight's dinner - corn fritters (this is my favorite recipe for them), focaccia bread with sauteed vadalia onions and portabellos, spinache, feta, olive oil and vinegar drizzle, and fresh vine-ripened tomatoes (salmonella aside). Maybe a cucumber and seaweed salad too (with sesame seeds, ginger, and rice wine vinegar). I know. I know. I won't eat tabouli but I'll eat seaweed. Go figure. Oh, and I will eat tofu in the form of miso paste. And maybe I'll throw in some lovely avocados with tomatoes and feta in a Greek vinaigrette. That would be yummy.

What's on your plate for dinner tonight?

Please take care to wear flowers in your hair

2008-06-20T07:30:00.001-07:00

Sigh. I love San Francisco. That song has me reminiscing.

Here are some shots of the aforementioned rice-paper flower barrettes.

The process was simple but time consuming (isn't everything in the craft world?).

At first, I used a die cut machine to cut out the flowers but I didn't love them so I resorted to just cutting out flower shapes by hand. After you cut them out, you use watercolors to paint them. They come out muted but the colors bleed into each other quite nicely. The top one was done with watercolors. The bottom three were done with acrylics watered down. The girls had a good time painting those. The top one was the one *I* did.

While they are still wet, you have to twist the flower so that the petals start to crimp or bend in a more natural way. I finally realized a simple way to do this (we were all having problems with that part). I pushed the end of the paintbrush (the non-bristled end, I mean) into the center gently enough as to not tear the paper but firmly enough to be able to use the brush and twist around it. It seems the slickness of the brush makes it easier to twist instead of trying to twist the flower against its own paper petals.

Then you let it dry. It only takes an hour or so to dry but if you're in a hurry, you can use a hair dryer. I opted to let them dry naturally.

Once dried, you can take a fine marker and add details. That's how the veining got on the flowers.

They still looked a bit plain to me so I went to my bead drawer (yes, I have a bead drawer - doesn't everyone?) and took out some seed beads and used "incredibly tacky" glue. That glue name makes me laugh every time I read it or say it. I found it easier to put a little glue on the end of a sewing needle to pick up the seed beads. I was going to glue them anyway so I didn't mind the glue on the beads.

The clips are just quilter's clips from Michael's. I glued the flowers on the clips with hot glue. My concern was that the hot glue would peel off after a while so I also used the incredibly tacky glue too. It's supposed to bind to metal as well.

The top one is my favorite (no, not because it's mine). I love the tropical color combination there.

Now... to finish that d@mn sock...

Today's Shiny Object....

2008-06-19T13:43:00.001-07:00

I'm still clicking away on my sock. That's really pathetic since it's a baby sock. Lots of interference today and yesterday, though. I thought I'd be able to knit at vaulting but I always feel I need to be sociable and my "visiting" prevented it.

Then that blasted work thing got in the way. I spent the evening making gum paste carnations. Pretty but not what I wanted to be doing.

Since I had girls in the house last night (my children had friends stay over), I decided to paint flowers for barrettes with them. They did a really nice job. Unfortunately, they had to leave before they dried correctly or were assembled so I'll be doing that today.

Truth is, I'd really rather be sleeping. Today is a sleepy day for me. I've done the mom-taxi thing, domestic goddess things (laundry, et al) and the nurse thing. (Little one is sick today) But I still have more day left and many things to do.

Barrettes to finish, sock to finish, (see that dreaded pattern I told you about???) but I want to make a basket. So, I'm going to make myself finish the other two today and then make a basket. I've done pine straw basket making before. So pretty. I'm fortunate enough to have a pine tree with 18" needles (this is a plus in the pine straw basket market, let me tell you.) This one is a bit different. I've never done one in wicker or cane. I'm going to start with paper and then move to other organic items from around the yard.

The inspiration is from a FABULOUS new magazine called "Living Crafts". If you are a Waldorfy type person, you must get this magazine! I want to jump right into its pages and live with the artwork as well as the artists. Just gorgeous!

Today's shiny object? Basketry.

They do WHAT on the back of a horse?!?

2008-06-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

They do gymnastics on the back of a horse. Think "Circus of the Stars" meets "Mary Lou Retton".

We were lucky enough to be introduced to the world of Equestrian Vaulting this year. Two of my children participate and LOVE it!

They'll be on TEAM in the fall where they'll have the opportunity to compete and perform. They are very excited!

Equestrian Vaulting is actually a very old sport (dating back to the Roman times). While not popular (yet) in the United States, it's been a staple of equestrian entertainment in Europe for centuries.

Hopefully, it will catch on here and everyone will have a chance to see what this beautiful sport is all about. You have to admire any sport where your team mates also consist of a beautiful horse!

4th of July Homeschooling

2008-06-17T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm often accused of not sleeping. It's true. I sleep very rarely. Don't get me wrong. I *LOVE* sleep. I just don't get enough of it. Docs have tried for years to give me meds to promote sleep but I'm not interested. When I was a teen, I slept 12 - 14 hours a day. I like to think I banked it.

What has this got to do with 4th of July homeschooling, you ask? Well, in one of my "I really should be sleeping but let me get this one thing done first..." modes, I did a curriculum outline for July for my family.

I was pretty proud of my ideas. Hubby chimed in with some great ones (the geometry ones were his and he's not a math person so I was doubly impressed.)

So, in pdf form and available to all, I have a curriculum guideline/outline for July for all grades (since my children span the gamut.)

Patriotic Theme Unit Ideas

As always, you do the stunts, tricks, tips on that download at your own risk. I will assume NO responsibility for firework mishaps or brain freeze from home-made ice cream. Heck, the only responsibility I'll take is if you had a great time doing the stuff on there. :o) You have been warned. (End of legalese statement. )

Also remember that this work is copyrighted (as is the work to on the referring pages to their own respective authors). Please don't distribute it without permission or sell it. (End of legalese statement here too.)

SOS

2008-06-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

It's only fitting to share my inside jokes with everyone before starting. Otherwise, it wouldn't be funny. Well, in all honesty, it may still not be funny but at least we'll be on the same page.

S.O.S. No, not "Save Our Ship". That's too easy. I'm referring to "Shiny Object Syndrome". At first, this may sound like a disease that magpies or other such birds may acquire. I assure you that, unfortunately, this is a very human disease... er disorder.

Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS) is the art of being right in the middle of a great project when something new, fun, and alluring comes along. At that point, the "old" project becomes boring, mundane, etc. You long for that new project. You fantasize about it. Finally, you give in.

Some of the side effects of SOS are UFOs - not of the ET variety but the "unfinished objects" that lay around the house waiting to be called.

Since I suffer so severely from SOS, I thought I'd share my projects with you all and hopefully work with you (my support group) on finishing them.

Now, SOS isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it drives me to finish a project so I can hurry and start another. And this isn't just crafting I'm talking about. I write (mostly editorial articles and encyclopedia entry type things), design homeschool curricula, and pretty much anything else that sparkles.

My current Shiny Object? Knitting socks. I'm trying to get a few done before my boys go to Boy Scout Camp. When I get tired of that, I'm painting rice paper flowers I made to make into barrettes for my daughter. I'm switching between the two so I don't get bored.

The interesting thing about SOS is that your desires are varied - your interests many.

Because of that, this blog will be wildly varied in topic but that's a good thing because they'll always be something shiny for someone.

You may get bored with your current project but you are seriously never bored... at least not for long because something shiny ALWAYS comes along.

Welcome to my fellow SOS sufferers. My name is Shelley and I have SOS.